


Slytherin's Hidden Vault

by PascalChill



Category: Dragon Ball, Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: F/F, F/M, Ginny Weasley Bashing, Good Albus Dumbledore, Misguided Albus Dumbledore, Molly Weasley Bashing, Multi, Ron Weasley Bashing, Severus Snape Bashing
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-09-16
Updated: 2020-10-02
Packaged: 2021-03-06 15:29:20
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Underage
Chapters: 4
Words: 32,445
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/26491207
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/PascalChill/pseuds/PascalChill
Summary: Those who searched for the Cursed Vaults never could find the last one. Probably because it needed a Parselmouth to open it for them. A chance meeting resulted in Harry Potter finding the last vault and inside was something he never expected. Now he's responsible for two women who could blow up the planet several times over. And the heavens are watching, closely.
Relationships: Harry Potter/Multi
Comments: 31
Kudos: 56





	1. A Computer in Hogwarts?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) Modern day timeframe. Magic doesn’t affect electronics negatively unless specifically made to do so. Major events canon up to sixth year. Takes some story cues from Hogwarts Mystery.
> 
> Harry’s not a Horcrux.
> 
> Idiot!Ron, LovePotion!Ginny/Molly Weasley bashing.
> 
> Harry/Multi

Today had been a decidedly strange day so far for the Boy-Who-Lived-To-Be-Chosen, or whatever stupid hyphenated name the idiots at the Daily Prophet came up with to call him. The day before had started it all.

His female best friend had attacked his male best friend with a bunch of birds, due to said male best friend abandoning them again, this time for a blonde bimbo with huge tits. Admittedly, to a teenage male with hormones flaring, it was a somewhat decent reason, but it was still hurtful to be abandoned again.

Ron probably wouldn’t have abandoned him if Harry hadn’t laughed at the birds deciding to pepper the redhead with their droppings after pecking at him. Maybe. The redhead always did let his temper rule his decisions. He might have even blamed Harry for letting Hermione attack him with the birds in the first place.

As much as he liked having a Quidditch team that worked, he probably shouldn’t have pretended to spike his Keeper’s pumpkin juice with Felix Felicis. Oh well, it happened and now he had to live with his decision.

Breakfast this morning was also incredibly strange. He’d spaced out, trying to work out why he was obsessing over an unassuming wall in Hogwarts. He should’ve been done with those sorts of dreams since ol’ Tommy boy decided to use Occlumency against him. Then again, almost all of his recent dreams have been much more pleasant than Riddle’s visions, featuring two feminine figures and himself in intimate embraces. Curiously, every time he tried to focus on either or both, he’d get a less clear picture.

All he could remember was they both had light, wild hair (maybe platinum blonde? If not that then pure white), one wore hers short and the other long; one had piercing blue eyes and the other strangely had black sclera and red eyes. Those red eyes held a lot of warmth and innocence, so he wasn’t reminded too terribly of Voldemort. Occasionally, the dream would go back to the wall, then back to the women, ad nauseum.

The whole time he had been puzzling through this dream, Harry had apparently been staring down some Gryffindor girl he barely recognized, who looked increasingly guilty and paranoid. He found out later that his thoughtful look rivalled one of McGonagall's most stern disapproving expressions. He was torn out of his dream analysis by the girl confessing that she’d tell Harry everything she knew. Before he even realized what was happening, Harry followed her out of the Great Hall.

She proceeded to confess to him all sorts of wrongdoings without preamble. He was staring at her with amusement, not caring at all about her supposed crimes. Professor Dumbledore definitely should’ve made him a prefect if he could do this by accident. Imagine what he could do on purpose.

It wasn’t until she said something she thought was rather innocuous that he started to pay attention again. It was at that point that he recognized her as one of Ginny’s roommates. Without realizing it, she had inadvertently let slip a little detail that caused the crush he didn’t even know he’d started developing on the redhead to die a most painful death.

Why would Ginny need to borrow money to order a love potion for Dean Thomas, the boy she was already dating? It was a bit of a leap in logic and paranoia, but he knew she’d been nursing a crush on him for years, so who else would she dose with a love potion? He vaguely recalled the conversation that Mrs. Weasley had with Hermione and Ginny about her dosing Mr. Weasley with a love potion during their time at Hogwarts.

He vowed to have a talk with Fred and George about their stock of love potions at some point. Those things were bloody dangerous!

A muttered promise not to reveal her transgressions to Professor McGonagall and a rapid exit Harry far away from the Great Hall in the third floor trophy room. A check of the Marauder’s Map had told him that the only person on this floor was Professor Flitwick and he seemed content to stay in his office for the time being. Speaking of, he’d have to ask him for help on charms to reveal tampered food and drink. If he couldn’t help then maybe he could write to Mad-Eye Moody. Surely the famously paranoid man knew some obscure detection spells?

When he finally looked up from the map, he realized his aimless wandering had carried him to the castle armory. After wiping the map and putting it away, he eyed the suits of armor carefully as he walked through. Would that wall really be here of all places? Why was he even looking for it?

Last time he’d followed something from his dreams, Sirius had…He shook his head to try and clear his thoughts. The grief was still strong. At least he was by himself doing this, that way he wouldn’t get anyone else killed.

An odd shine drew his eye to one particular suit of armor. Every suit of armor throughout the armory had a sword, a shield, or both. Each one was decorated extravagantly. All except the one he’d stopped to examine. It held a shield; however instead of a sword, it held an ostentatious sceptre.

This suit of armor had a slight green tinge to it, as well as its armaments. The sceptre it held had a great shining emerald on the head. The body was silver and had a scale-like pattern, ending with what looked like a snake’s tail. The shield was decorated with a stylized version of the Slytherin house crest, the snake in a clear S shape.

“Must’ve been Slytherin’s armor,” Harry mumbled to himself.

“Very astute observation, young lad. You are clearly a scholar,” a somewhat sarcastic voice behind him said, causing him to jump, draw his wand, turn around, and point it with a spell on his lips. The portrait of an old bearded man in an ancient robe snorted at what he perceived to be a skittish teenager, “And so high-strung as well. I must say however, I do hope you are a competent conversationalist. Ever since the headmaster had my portrait moved from the Great Hall away from my dear friend Sir Cadogan, I’ve rarely had visitors.”

“Er, why would Professor Dumbledore move your portrait, sir?” asked Harry, trying to puzzle out exactly who this was. The portrait was actually unlabelled, which was a rarity in Hogwarts. Rather, it had a label, but it was hard to concentrate on what the label actually said long enough to read it. Strangely, he felt like he should know who this was, but the old man was somewhat blurry since he was a little far away from the portrait’s focal point. Maybe he’d seen the man on a Chocolate Frog card before? And he said that he was friends with Sir Cadogan, that barmy knight on the way to the Divination classroom.

The man in the portrait regarded him imperiously while leaning against the English Oak tree just visible inside the right side of the frame. He spoke slowly, as if choosing his words carefully, “I believe it was due to some incidents that occurred some years ago. It’s quite difficult to tell the passage of time as a portrait, but it was perhaps eight, maybe nine years ago that I guided a young lad much like yourself to what he and others called ‘Cursed Vaults.’”

“Let me guess, it was excessively dangerous for a student and it all could’ve been avoided if the teachers had given a toss?” Harry practically snarled.

“It sounds like you have a great deal of experience with such situations. Would you be willing to indulge a lonely old man with a few stories?”

“Protecting a magical artifact from a dark wizard possessing the Defense teacher first year, slaying a thousand year old basilisk second year, driving off a hundred Dementors third year, the bloody Triwizard Tournament fourth year, and…I’d rather not talk about last year,” he finished with a haunted look in his eyes.

The man blinked slowly at the rather abbreviated stories, speaking once he’d regarded Harry for a few short moments, “A bit more terse than I expected, but good lord, lad. That’s far worse than what the other lad and his helpers put up with. The worst they were hit with was cursed ice, I think. How extraordinary.”

He lingered for a moment as he regarded Harry, seeming to be coming to a decision. Finally, he shrugged and reached behind the English Oak to grab a staff made of the same type of wood. He stepped forward purposefully into greater focus. Harry withheld a gasp of surprise at the fact that he’d apparently been talking to a portrait of Merlin this whole time.

He didn’t even know that the greatest wizard who’d ever lived even had a portrait. Why would Professor Dumbledore have moved such an influential wizard away from the Great Hall where every student could see? Those “Cursed Vaults” must’ve been heinous if such an extreme response had occurred.

“Would you mind terribly telling me why you had to kill Manasa? She was meant to be the last line of defense against invaders of Hogwarts,” Merlin asked.

Harry hesitated, carefully choosing his words, “You mean Salazar Slytherin’s basilisk, right?” At the portrait’s nod, he continued, “She was being controlled by a dark wizard who claims to be the Heir of Slytherin. She’d been used to murder a student around fifty years ago. Four years ago, she was released again with the intention to murder more students. It didn’t help that she sounded insane, as well.”

With each word, Merlin seemed to grow more and more morose at the idea of his mentor’s favorite pet being used for such a heinous purpose. His eyebrows flew up into his hairline at the mention of Manasa apparently sounding insane.

“You are a Parselmouth yourself, lad?”

He bristled slightly at Harry’s wince of giving up that tidbit of information, “No, no, none of that. Contrary to modern belief, Parseltongue is not inherently evil. In fact, if you get into the habit of using it when casting your spells, you may find that a large majority of them will become more effective or even easier to cast. Why, Salazar found that even his potions were more efficient and potent when he spoke Parseltongue regularly while brewing.”

That was a bit of a surprise for Harry, but…”Then why doesn’t Voldemort cast his spells in Parseltongue?”

“That’s the dark wizard you mentioned before? I honestly couldn’t tell you. Perhaps he found that his most powerful spells didn’t benefit from Parseltongue or perhaps his wand wasn’t particularly suited for it. He might not have even tried it.”

Merlin ran his fingers through his beard slowly in thought, “Shame I couldn’t personally experiment with Parseltongue. Salazar researched hard for a way to give me the ability, but all his research came to the same conclusion: either you’re born with it or magic decides you deserve it from right of conquest wherein both parties are actively engaged in mortal combat. I’d have defeated Salazar for the ability if I hadn’t needed to kill him. Genius though he was, he preferred potions to wand work.”

“Wait. So, it can’t be given to you or transferred? Even by accident? It has to be  _ taken _ ?” Harry asked, surprised. He remembered Professor Dumbledore telling him that his ability to speak Parseltongue was because Voldemort had transferred part of his power to him. He rubbed his scar absentmindedly, the words of that damnable prophecy echoing in his thoughts.

_ “…and the Dark Lord will mark him as his equal…” _

The odd mannerism intrigued the portrait, “To the best of my knowledge, yes. I take it you thought otherwise?”

“Dumbledore said that —”

“Bah! That parody of me? I guarantee he just guessed and passed it off as confidence,” Merlin waved off Harry’s explanation. “You were born with it. End of story. Unless…?” He looked over expectantly.

Harry gulped, “Well, I found out I had it just before my eleventh birthday when I set a snake free from the zoo on accident.” He paused at Merlin’s satisfied nod, before plowing on, “But Voldemort tried to kill me when I was fifteen months old and his Killing Curse reflected back into himself because my mother sacrificed herself for me.”

The portrait just stared down at him with disbelief plain on his face. He shook his head slowly, “Well, if that’s true, it’s possible either way. Born with it or conquest. I’m certain you were born with it, as mortal combat would be difficult as a babe. However, we’ve lingered on this subject long enough. How would you like to find the last hidden vault of Hogwarts? There might be something in there to help you with your dark wizard problem.”

“Didn’t you say they were cursed? Dangerous?” the young Gryffindor asked incredulously. Only to grow more so when Merlin waved off his questions.

“The four that were opened years ago were opened without permission. Therefore, the curses activated. You, however, allegedly have Salazar’s vaunted ability to speak with snakes. That means that Salazar’s vault will open willingly for you,” Merlin explained.

“Like the Chamber of Secrets?” asked Harry. Suddenly, he was struck by inspiration, “Is the vault down there?”

“The what?” Merlin asked, before shaking his head slowly. He smiled broadly down at the Gryffindor, “You were close before we started speaking.”

Harry turned to stare at the green tinged suit of armor. He eyed the windows on either side looking out onto the grounds then turned back with a skeptical look.

“Are you not a wizard, lad? Are you not in a school of wizards and witches? Founded by four of the brightest wizards and witches of the age? Just use Salazar’s gift to tell the armor to lead you to the vault.”

He turned back around to regard the armor once more. Briefly, the young Gryffindor debated whether or not to do what Merlin suggested. He leaned over with a shrug and concentrated on the snake on the shield.

§Lead me to Salazar Slytherin’s hidden vault,§ hissed Harry. He stepped back when the walls above the windows melted down over them. When the windows were completely covered, the now-solid wall rippled like a disturbed surface of water. The suit of armor came to life and stepped aside at the same time as an elaborate doorway formed in the wall. He goggled at the long hallway that shouldn’t nor couldn’t exist in that area, hanging green lights illuminating it.

He looked back nervously at the portrait of Merlin, only to find that he had fallen asleep or at least he appeared to be. Cautiously, he drew his wand and stalked down the hallway, staring around at the intricately carved snakes in the walls. Each one had small emeralds for eyes, and no matter how he looked at them, it felt like they were following him, judging him.

Thankfully, it seemed like he passed because not even a second later after he felt himself being judged, the hallway constricted and brought the vault door closer.

The vault door was an exact replica of the one leading into the Chamber of Secrets, so it was a surprise when each of the snake heads on the door simultaneously turned to regard him. Somehow they looked like they expected something.

§I request access to Salazar Slytherin’s hidden vault,§ he said hesitantly, hoping it was acceptable phrasing. The eyes of the snakes seemed to glow momentarily as they stared down at him. Sounds of ancient mechanisms clicked and whirred behind the door while the snakes coiled in on themselves. The door opened slowly, ominously, before lanterns hanging from the ceiling lit a cavernous interior, filled with strange items.

Cautiously, Harry entered the vault, holding his wand out at the ready. He glanced around slowly, trying to take everything in. The room was somewhat octagonal and spacious. A small stack of what appeared to be silver ingots covered one wall; there were small shrines of magical artifacts atop cushions along the other walls; but, one item caught his eye in particular. Something that shouldn’t even be anywhere near Hogwarts, let alone in a magical vault. Was that a —

§Lower your wand, hatchling of mine. I heard your Parseltongue through the door and none of my blood nor those who ally with one of my blood will come to harm in my vault,§ hissed a portrait of a powerful looking man bearing a strong resemblance to the statue in the Chamber of Secrets. It was clear to Harry that this was a portrait of Salazar Slytherin.

§Of your blood? Am I really?§ he hissed back, surprised. Below the painting was another shrine much like the rest in the vault, this one had a long, beautiful box across the top of the cushion and a smaller box that looked like a box fit for a ring underneath it. He slowly pocketed his wand.

Slytherin scoffed at Harry’s question, §Of course, you are. You speak the noble tongue of serpents.§ He paused when he noticed that the Gryffindor’s attention had shifted before smiling smugly down at him, §If you are skeptical, lift the boxes you see below me. You will either be able to lift one, both, or neither. I will tell you what it means after.§

“Salazar, he’s wearing my colors! Are you leading one of mine astray?” a neighboring portrait spoke up in a boisterous, booming voice. Harry looked over to see a lion of a man with long red hair and a long red beard holding what was clearly the Sword of Gryffindor. However, below what could only be Godric Gryffindor, the cushion was empty, a long indent the only indicator that something was once held there. He was broken out of his reverie by a hearty guffaw, “I see that you’ve noticed that my sword is missing, my boy. Would you happen to know where it is? I saw it disappear right before my eyes a scant few years ago.”

“Er…Yes, I pulled it out of the Sorting Hat when…” Harry stopped, looking back at the portrait of Slytherin who was eyeing him with keen interest. “…When there was a threat to the safety of the school.”

Slytherin flinched at that, noticing some sort of implication, but Gryffindor was ecstatic, “Good on you, my boy! A true Gryffindor in heart and spirit! How many were there? Did you fight them all one by one with honor or were they craven cowards whom you bested as they attacked all at once?”

Slytherin rolled his eyes at the other portrait’s exuberance, speaking out of Parseltongue in a reedy, yet smooth voice this time, “From the look on his face, Godric, it was none of that. Please don’t tell me that poor Manasa failed in her duty to protect the school.”

Harry winced and spoke quickly to get it over with that much faster, “More like she  _ was _ the threat. Someone claiming to be your descendant tried to use her to kill students.” He paused at the sound of pure outrage coming from the portrait, a little surprised, but continued once more, “He succeeded at it once fifty years ago, then four years ago, he tried again, but I stopped him this time. I had to kill, er, Manasa though. She sounded completely insane.”

§Of course, she must’ve sounded out of her mind. From what you’ve implied, she was fighting my orders to protect the school,§ the portrait hissed angrily. He sighed sadly, §I do not blame you, hatchling of mine. I am pleased you bested her without injury, else we might not have been found except by thieves. Or that false hatchling of mine you mentioned.§

Gryffindor appeared sad as well, but cheered almost immediately, “Well, seeing as how you are standing before us, you bested a great and powerful foe with aplomb! An excellent feat for one as young as you, my boy!”

By now, Harry’s curiosity had consumed him, so he thanked Gryffindor and asked, “I hate to interrupt our conversation, but what is all this stuff?”

A third portrait on the wall opposite Slytherin’s spoke up, this one a dark-haired, intimidatingly beautiful woman with a Scottish brogue, “Most are research projects. However, some of us decided to use this vault as storage for personal affects or just to keep valuable artifacts and resources out of the hands of dark wizards.”

He turned to regard her and the other portrait currently watching him curiously. One of these two must be Rowena Ravenclaw and the other Helga Hufflepuff. Sadly, the other woman’s portrait hadn’t spoken, seemingly inert. He’d definitely have to bring Hermione here to show her this. She was always telling him that  _ Hogwarts, A History _ said that the founders never had portraits.

“What about that, over there?” asked Harry, pointing at a pair of pods lying next to each other, side-by-side. They looked like they came out of science fiction, looking like they’d be used for hibernation while travelling through space. Sadly, there wasn’t anything transparent on them that he could look through. Attached to them by a tangled assortment of large cables, astonishingly, was what appeared to be an older model of computer.

“We’ll satisfy your curiosity once you satisfy mine, young man,” said Slytherin before anyone else could answer. He pointed down at the boxes with an intense stare. Harry looked around at the other portraits and sighed to himself when it seemed like they weren’t about to bail him out of this. At the very least, the Founders, and by extension their portraits would not want to harm a student, right?

Carefully and ready to pull back the moment he felt anything harmful, he grasped the long box on the cushion gingerly. A rush of magic enveloped him, drawing a gasp. Just as before at the door, he felt judged. Again, just as before, the feeling passed and he lifted the box easily. The box opened on its own, revealing a speckle-patterned brown wand. The handle was carved to look like a rattlesnake’s rattle.

“Very good, lad. That wand is yours to keep. It is exceedingly adept at all forms of Parselmagic, being made of snakewood and horn of a horned serpent. Other than that, you will find it most competent at Charms work. Made it myself,” said Slytherin smugly and proudly.

“Er, are you sure it’ll work well for me? I was told when I bought my wand that ‘the wand chooses the wizard,’” Harry asked hesitantly. At Slytherin’s assured nod, he carefully pulled the wand out of the box and gripped the handle. He gasped loudly when he actually felt his magic not just flow, but absolutely  _ surge _ through the wand. Green, silver, red, and gold sparks practically gushed out of the tip, a steady hissing accompanying them.

“Very good, young man. Keep it with you always. If you find your original wand preferable for any coursework, feel free to use it instead, but I recommend you use this one regularly to become accustomed to it,” praised Slytherin. “Now, the other box, and Rowena will gladly explain what is kept in this vault.”

He glanced up at the portrait briefly, carefully pocketing his new wand. This time, a little less hesitantly, his hands found the other, smaller box. The judgment took a little longer than the others, but inevitably, he lifted the box away from the cushion after a few seconds of pulling. The box opened on its own, revealing a bluish-green ring with two small, rounded sapphires and one larger, playing-cards-diamond-shaped sapphire. Upon further inspection, the ring was vaguely shaped like a snake curled up onto itself, the small sapphires being eyes and the larger sapphire being in the middle of the snake’s forehead. Two horns topped the head of the serpent.

The voice of Slytherin broke him out of his reverie, “Well? Put it on. You may get a bit of a headache when you do, but it’ll pass.”

Harry snorted, “A ringing endorsement. What does this do that’ll give me a headache?”

“Shan’t tell unless you put it on,” said the now petulant portrait. “I understand being apprehensive of magical items, but do you not understand that I would not wish ill will upon students at  _ my _ school? Especially ones of my own blood. You would not be holding that ring otherwise.”

This surprised the Gryffindor. He’d have to research that. Maybe he  _ had _ descended from Slytherin in some form or fashion. He cast his mind back to the memory of the Gaunts that Dumbledore had shown him. Marvolo had shown off a ring of a family that he had descended from. Something starting with a ‘P’.

Thinking of that ring brought him back to the one in his grasp. He rolled it in his fingers slightly, examining it once again. Trying to feel for any sort of malevolence off the object like he had once felt from Voldemort’s diary when it was whole and undamaged.

_ ‘Oh well, in for a penny, in for a pound. If it  _ **_does_ ** _ end up killing me, at least I can be with Sirius again. And my parents,’ _ thought Harry darkly. He pushed his right ring finger into the ring and once it reached his knuckle, the ring curled in, snakelike, until it fit comfortably on his finger. Immediately, he felt a splitting headache form as the magic of the ring connected with his own.

The headache was only present just long enough for him to grimace in discomfort. He turned to the portrait of Slytherin expectantly.

“Good lad,” Slytherin said approvingly. “The gems set in the ring were cut from the gem that came from the very same horned serpent whose horn is in your new wand. The magic of the ring and the wand will reinforce one another as you use them more and more. I wore that ring nearly constantly for over two decades, thus it’s absorbed a great deal of my knowledge and abilities.”

Harry looked down at the ring appraisingly, wondering exactly what abilities the portrait meant.

Reading his expression, Slytherin continued, “The ring will teach you as the need arises. It’s to keep your mind sane and prevent being inundated with too much information at once. Also, I would recommend going to back down into Manasa’s den. The ring will lead you to and unlock the hidden door to my journals, which contain all I’d learned about Parseltongue. Now, Rowena, if you would be so kind…”

“You mean now that you’re done teasing the lad’s curiosity, Salazar?” asked the portrait of Ravenclaw with just a hint of sarcasm, drawing Harry’s attention to her. She smiled indulgently down at him, “I saw you eyeing that most curious contraption we were asked to study right after Hogwarts was built.”

His eyebrows flew up in surprise, asking incredulously, “But, how? Where did it come from? Part of it looks like something more modern and…Muggle.”

He stepped over to the storage pods; more specifically, closer to what looked like a computer from the late-80’s or early 90’s. It was perched upon what looked like a large tool cabinet. Wires came out of the back which connected directly to the storage pods, though he spotted one looped into the tool cabinet itself. He squinted at the faded label on the back of the monitor; a C inside another C inside a circle and barely legible words below that: “Ca—le Co—.” Below that, in smaller print were…runes? He’d have to ask Hermione.

“Muggle, you say? I’m fairly certain that Muggles had nothing of the sort at the time. As for where it came from, even we don’t know. We were asked by a group of wizards from the Orient to solve the mystery for them. Nothing we tried did anything, even if Godric wanted to blast it apart to study it his way,” said Ravenclaw. “Our conclusion was that the key to discovering the mystery is to unlock the trays. Just a forewarning, they resisted  _ Open Sesame _ and  _ Portaberto _ , though that was probably due to the nature of those spells being more suited to wooden doors.”

Harry circled back around to study the keyboard. Some keys were faintly labelled with similar runes to what was on the back, though others were faded completely. He shook his head slowly at Ravenclaw’s assertion, “If this is anything like what Muggles have now, then the key is figuring out how to activate it and hope it still works after all this time. The trays probably just have tools in them.”

He took a step back, wondering if he should try doing that Patronus messenger spell that Dumbledore had taught the Order to get Hermione in here or if he should drink a small amount of the Felix Felicis he got from Slughorn. He idly glanced around, taking notice of the other trinkets all around.

“Am I allowed in and out of this vault whenever I want? And could I bring a friend here as well? She could definitely help with all this,” he asked, pulling the Marauder’s Map from his pocket.

“Of course! In fact, if it’s not too much trouble, we’d like to meet the current Headmaster and possibly get our portraits placed more prominently!” exclaimed Gryffindor.

“I’ll see what I can do about that, but I can’t guarantee anything. There’s currently a bit of a skirmish going on and we don’t want to give the dark wizard out there any more reason to come to Hogwarts,” Harry said. “If news of this vault got out and especially if news of an active portrait of Salazar Slytherin was found inside, he’d drop everything to focus on Hogwarts.”

“Ah, understood, my boy. Off with you then,” said Gryffindor.

What is it with bearded men and calling him their boy anyway? Oh well, questions for another time.

As he stepped out of the vault and went through the hallway, the door and hallway closed behind him. A glance told him that Merlin had fallen asleep in his portrait. He scanned the map for Hermione. Checking her usual haunts: the library and…the…library and, OH! Her dorm room! There she was! And by herself too, that was fortuitous.

Harry stared down at the snakewood wand still in his hand, ‘ _ Might as well give it a go, I guess. Maybe even with Parseltongue too. _ ’

§A guardian approaches,§ he hissed. Strange that his intended spell became a phrase instead of staying in Latin.

The wand in his hand vibrated with what felt like excitement at the Parseltongue. A giant, ethereal snake, easily twice the size of the Basilisk he’d slain during his second year, erupted from his wand. He gaped at it with disbelief, noticing that it appeared to be (somewhat unsurprisingly) a horned serpent.

“Well, that’s an issue. How am I supposed to explain that?” he groused, dismissing the snake Patronus. “Maybe it’s just Parseltongue?  _ Expecto Patronum _ !”

He sighed in relief as his familiar stag erupted from the wand, albeit much larger and brighter. The guardian spirit looked around for threats before cantering over to him. He waved his wand in a pattern resembling a closed envelope over the stag.

“ _ Mittere Nuntium _ Hermione Granger: Hermione, I have something amazing to show you. Come down to where we were almost caught out of bed by Filch for the very first time our first year,” Harry told the stag. He grinned when the stag coalesced into a ball of light before fading through the ceiling. She’d be happy that he took security precautions by being vague. Hopefully.

———

“And just  _ what _ was so important you had to interrupt my reading, Harry James Potter?! I have to finish that book before my Arithmancy test Friday! You couldn’t wait to show it to me later?” asked an irate bookworm.

Harry rubbed his sore shoulder. Wow, Hermione had a mean right hook. Still, he eyed her with displeasure plain on his face, “Didn’t you say that you finished that book this last Friday, Hermione?”

“I said I read it, I didn’t say I finished it. Honestly, Harry, there’s a difference. Now, what is it?” she asked.

“Well, first, I found out that there’s a lot more to Parseltongue than we knew. I’ll explain more when I learn more. In fact, I might need your help with that. Apparently, Slytherin kept a journal about it and it might still be in the Chamber of Secrets,” he explained.

Hermione’s eyes lit up with bright interest. Eyes that then narrowed at Harry with an expectant look.

He sighed with fond exasperation, “Yes, Hermione, you can read it. After all, it might not be in modern English and we may need to translate it.” Her vibrant smile told him he narrowly avoided being hexed.

“And there’s also this…” he trailed off as he turned to the green armor. It was getting easier and easier to use Parseltongue; he noticed when he hissed immediately while barely concentrating on the snake, §Lead me to Salazar Slytherin’s hidden vault.§

Idly, he saw Hermione’s curious expression out of the corner of his eyes. A stark contrast to the flinch that he remembered Ron having during second year. Wait, why did he remember that so easily?

He jumped when he felt an iron grip on his unbruised bicep, drawing his attention back to the stream of questions pouring out of his best friend’s mouth.

“...And just when did you find this? How did you know it was here? Is there a password? What’s the password?”

“Down, girl. Let’s go and have a look at what’s inside before we go crazy. And yes, there is a password and it hardly helps you any since it’s Parseltongue,” he accentuated his point by playfully waggling his tongue at her.

“I will hit you again, Harry. Don’t think I won’t,” Hermione said teasingly.

Harry raised his hands in mock surrender and began to lead the way to the vault. Unlike before, he didn’t feel any judgment, possibly because he passed last time. Strangely, Hermione didn’t seem to give any indication that she’d been judged either. Maybe it was because she was with him?

He opened the vault door for her and motioned for her to go in with a grin, “Ladies first!”

Hermione’s reaction to what was in the vault did not disappoint him; the excited gasp was exactly what he expected. He followed her in, finding her looking around like a kid in a candy store who had no idea where to start. Her eyes seemed especially drawn to the portrait of Ravenclaw. Of course she would want to interrogate the most intelligent of the founders.

Sadly, like Merlin, the active founders’ portraits had fallen asleep. Maybe older portraits spent more time asleep?

His hands clasped her shoulders and he steered her to the computer and storage containers.

“This is the biggest reason why I asked you here, Hermione. I didn’t take runes, you did, so you can at least decipher what’s still there,” he explained.

She looked at the computer with disbelief then leaned down to look at the keyboard closely. Then she checked the back of the monitor, staring at the faded label. She turned back to Harry with a strange look on her face.

“Harry…? You don’t know much about other languages, do you?” she asked slowly. Without waiting for an answer, she continued, “It’s not runes, Harry. It’s Japanese. And I don’t know any at all.”

Not for the first time, Harry cursed the Dursleys for keeping him ill-informed and downtrodden. That and their xenophobia in particular kept him from learning anything of other cultures.

She circled around the computer on the cabinet, studying the wires and the storage containers.

“But where did this even come from? It looks like a computer I learned on back in primary school. And that was for history class.”

“Well, what do you think?” Harry asked hesitantly. “Do you think we should turn it on and see what happens?”

His question was answered with a huff of exasperation from her, “Harry, how many times do I have to tell you? Muggle electronics won’t work around Hogwarts. It says so in…”

“ _ Hogwarts, A History _ ,” he said, matching her cadence. “I know, I know. But I’m not so sure about that. Have you ever brought anything electronic to Hogwarts to test it out? What if they just tell us that to get us to leave the muggle world behind? And if electronics don’t work around Hogwarts, what about Diagon Alley? That much magic in the air, in the heart of London? What about some of the residential housing around it?”

Hermione bit her lip at his questions. Professor McGonagall had told her specifically that electronics wouldn’t work. She shook her head to clear it.

“Well, what makes you think it still works anyway, Harry? Do you know how long it’s been in here?” she asked in an attempt to avoid the previous topic.

“According to Salazar Slytherin’s portrait, it’s been here since he and the others had built this vault. Because the vault’s been closed and undisturbed since the portraits have been in here.”

“Wait, that’s impossible!” she exclaimed, turning back to study the computer once again. “Muggles definitely didn’t have this level of technology that long ago! This shouldn’t exist if it’s that old. And what exactly should we be doing with these things? What if turning it on unleashes something horrible on us?”

“Well, I had an idea,” said Harry, pulling the tiny bottle of Felix Felicis out of his pocket. “If we both take a little bit of this, enough for an hour apiece, and we fiddled with the computer, something advantageous would happen no matter what. If it opens those, that’s good. If it breaks and we have no way of opening them, that’s good. Either way, win-win.”

Hermione stared at the bottle and he could practically hear the gears turning in her head.

“Two hours each.” she suggested, her wand already in her hand. A wave of her wand and markings appeared on the potion vial to help them estimate the amount they needed to drink. “If we’re really doing this without a professor, I don’t want anything less where it could all go wrong. Like usual.”

“Fine, but you’re helping me brew more later,” he said, uncorking the potion bottle. The ring on his finger warmed and suddenly the previously undefinable scent of “potion” turned into the smell of ashwinder eggs, squill bulbs, and horseradish, among others. That might be useful at some point. Carefully, he poured just enough potion into his mouth to last two hours before handing the bottle to Hermione.

As soon as he swallowed the surprisingly pleasant-tasting potion, it felt like the path of the future was his to shape and mold, all possibilities laid out before him. Felix nudged him, telling him he should wait until Hermione felt the same. Without looking, he accepted the resealed bottle of potion and tucked it in his pocket while his feet carried him over to the computer.

“Well, at least we know this won’t end horribly by mucking about with this stuff, Harry.”

“And all it took was an immensely valuable and difficult to brew potion,” Harry said, letting his hand be guided to the power switch on the back of the computer.

The switch was difficult to move and even to find, seeing as how it was hidden slightly by a wire. Finally, a click echoed into the small space of the vault and an almost choked whirring followed, clearly the fan inside the case had seen better days. The monitor flickered to life, dark yellow Japanese text on a greenish background scrolled from bottom to top.

He felt it was best to let the computer do its thing for the time being until finally the text stopped and the computer seemed to be waiting for some sort of input. He moved out of the way to a spot next to the storage pods. Felix told him to be there while Hermione seemed to tap random keys on the keyboard.

“This potion is amazing, Harry! I feel like I can’t do anything wrong with it going through me! We should  _ definitely _ brew some more,” exclaimed Hermione, dramatically pressing enter on the keyboard. “There! Whichever is the best outcome should happen now.”

The question of what that could be died on Harry’s lips with the sound of hydraulics hissing. He found his question answered when the lid of one of the storage pods slowly, haltingly began to open. The hinges at the head of the pod squealed from centuries of disuse. He waited for the ancient machine to open completely, feeling like it took hours, but in reality, it had only taken half a minute. He looked down into the pod curiously now that he could see inside.

Inside lay the strangest woman he’d ever seen in his life. Strange because she looked only vaguely human, due to her bright pink skin. Most of her head was obscured by what looked like a flight helmet with wires connecting the top of the helmet to the bottom part of the pod. His eyes trailed down her body, blushing when he saw that her sizable breasts were barely being contained by a black tube top. Matching black arm warmers went up past her elbows and down to her wrists. His eyes trailed down her washboard abdominal muscles to her white, baggy pants held up by a golden belt.

Speaking of gold, she was positively decked out in it. Gold earrings on pointed ears in two different spots on each ear, a gold choker, two gold bracelets on each wrist, and a gold ring on her left middle finger. His eyes roamed back down to her legs, finding two ankle bracelets as well and her high-heeled boots had gold caps over her toes.

“Not what I expected at all. It’s a…woman?, Hermione,” he said. Then realized that this should be impossible. Unless preservation magic was really amazing back then, she should be dust. On a whim, he hovered his hand over her mouth and nose. The slow, rhythmic breathing of sleep shocked him, making him yank his hand back as though burned. “And she’s alive! How the bloody hell?!”

“Language, Harry,” Hermione scolded automatically, rather shocked herself. She shook her head and tapped a few more buttons on the keyboard as Felix guided her to.

Inside the pod, the helmet’s visor lit up and the woman’s mouth twisted in displeasure. She grumbled sleepily like someone being woken up from a particularly good nap. Which, he guessed, technically she was.

The pink woman sat up slowly and yawning, showing off some very sharp canines. She reached up blindly to paw at the helmet. Felix gave him a nudge and he thought the potion must be wearing off or he was going insane.

Harry gently patted her hands before grabbing them and lowering them. She jumped a little in surprise, but followed his nonverbal instruction docilely. He began to grab and pull the wires away from the helmet by unlatching them. Here and there, a wire would cause her to jump, but she sat patiently while he worked.

“Harry? Please tell me that your potion is telling you that what you’re doing is the right thing,” Hermione said hesitantly. The woman turned toward the sound of her voice with her mouth twisted in confusion.

A final wire removal allowed him to lift the helmet off of her head. He gasped in surprise as her pure whire hair cascaded down to the small of her back in messy spikes. Her rounded face was rather pretty and kind-looking. Her icy blue, yet still warm eyes glanced around in curiosity before turning to confusion. Her eyes locked onto his emerald green before she tilted her head cutely, as if considering something.

Meanwhile, the green-eyed wizard was completely blown away. This was one half of his increasingly erotic dreams, just sitting in front of him. Suddenly, he received a very forceful nudge from Felix and he took a step back before offering his hand to her.

The pink woman giggled and said something in what he presumed to be Japanese in a light, airy voice. She placed her soft hand in his and used a surprising strength to pull him closer, wrapping her other arm around the back of his neck. A pink tail gripped his free wrist and pulled it underneath her legs.

“Oh, she has a tail! That’s very interesting,” Hermioned observed.

“Well, you’re certainly taking this in stride, Hermione,” Harry said, taking the hint the woman was trying to give him. He lifted her up out of the pod, his eyes widening in surprise when she was much heavier than expected. But all the grueling chores that the Dursleys had him do prepared him for this.

“Well, if she was dangerous, Harry, then we wouldn’t have been able to let her out,” she said as though it were obvious.

He opened his mouth to reply only to feel a pair of lips press against his jawline before the woman in his arms pulled free from him to make her way down to the floor. She stood on slightly unsteady legs that grew steadier the more steps she took.

“She’s a different kind of dangerous, though,” he said, his cheeks flaming red. His friend snickered at his statement before the pink woman walked over to her.

Both women regarded one another closely until the pink one shooed away the brown haired witch. The pink woman began to tap at the keys at a rapid pace.

“Think she has a name or are we just going to have to call her Pinky?” Harry asked. “Oh hell, how are we going to explain her being in Hogwarts?!”

“Well, we still have at least an hour and a half of Felix left, Harry. I think Professor Flitwick will be our best bet. He should still be in his office,” Hermione said, watching the pink woman work.

“Oh, that reminds me, I wanted to ask him something about the Patronus Charm,” he said. Upon her expectant look, he continued. “I cast my Patronus in Parseltongue earlier and instead of my stag, it was a horned serpent.”

Hermione gasped loudly, briefly drawing the gaze from their new guest before she went back to work, “Harry, that should be impossible! No one in recorded history has ever had two forms of Patronus at once.”

“Once we can be sure that she won’t misconstrue it as an attack, I’ll show you. If it comes down to it, I might use that one to ward off dementors. After all, by now, my O.W.L. results will be in Death Eater hands and they’ll know my patronus is a stag. So, if I’m in disguise, I’ll have a way to ‘prove’ I’m not Harry Potter if I can cast it silently in Parseltongue,” Harry mused.

“Harry, that’s brilliant, actually. How did you think of that?” she asked.

“I’m allowed to be brilliant, Hermione,” he said with a smile.

She playfully punched his shoulder just before the second pod began to hiss and the hydraulics began to squeal as it opened.

“What are the odds she has a friend?” Harry asked warily, stepping around to look into the second pod.

Sure enough, there was another pink woman, this one shorter than the first and somehow even more busty. Hers was straining behind some cloth keeping them wrapped up under a black and gold vest. Underneath a softer, slightly chubbier belly was a gold belt with a stylized “M” holding up the same type of baggy pants that the other woman was wearing. Her feet were in what appeared to be a pair of yellow galoshes. Strangely, unlike the first woman, this one had holes in her arms going up to her shoulders.

Just as with the first woman, this one’s helmet lit up to wake her. After this one sat up, he immediately began to remove the wires just as he had the first helmet. Unlike before, this one hummed appreciatively at what appeared to be a prompt response and hugged him around his middle.

“Ladies man, aren’t you, Harry?” Hermione asked teasingly. She suddenly gasped, “Oh, that’s right! You have to be careful, Harry! I overheard Romilda Vane and her friends discussing the best way to slip you a love potion.”

“Of course, she was. How the hell are love potions even legal?” Harry asked, removing the final wire and then the helmet. He gaped at this new pink woman. She was the second half of his dreams.

Her wild, white hair was barely down to her neck, framing her rounded face and strange, but innocent eyes. The black sclera and red irises were strange, but she was staring up at him with such wonder and kindness that it wasn’t at all off-putting.

The first pink woman said something to the other, causing her red eyes to light up. She then held her arms out expectantly.

Harry shrugged and leaned over to let her wrap her arms around his neck before picking her up in a bridal carry. She actually squealed in excitement and nuzzled into him.

“Hmm, very interesting. They appear to be a similar species, but one has a tail and the other doesn’t. What do you think, Harry?” Hermione asked.

“I think you should check the trays the computer’s on. Ravenclaw’s portrait was telling me that they couldn’t get them open,” he said, while the pink woman in his arms babbled away in Japanese to him. “I also think we should look into seeing if translation charms exist.”

“Really? I find that hard to believe, but at the same time, I do believe that the  _ alohomora _ charm was invented at least six centuries after their time,” Hermione speculated. She leaned down and tapped her wand to each lock in turn, a click sounding each time. “And I’m sure they exist. There are references to some, but you need to know the languages you’re translating to and from to make them work.”

The first pink woman watched her curiously before reaching down to test the trays, smiling broadly apparently at having access. She reached in to grab a large, clock-like object with a green screen from one, a small rectangular case from another, and then exclaimed excitedly when she opened the last.

Harry walked over to look curiously. He watched her reach in and pull out a shining, glass-like orange ball the size of a grapefruit. Inside the ball were five red stars. The woman turned to regard him curiously before smiling and tucking her bounty into his robe pockets since his hands were full.

“Looks like I’m being trusted with holding on to this stuff,” he said with a chuckle.

“Hmm, let’s go talk to Professor Flitwick while we still have time, Harry,” Hermione suggested. “And then later, we could show him and the rest of the professors this vault.”

“…I think I’d rather keep this place a secret for a while, Hermione. I don’t care what anyone says. Snape is a tosser and I don’t want him having any information that would be advantageous to Voldemort,” Harry growled.

As if sensing his anger, the woman in his arms lifted herself up and gave him a kiss on the jawbone just as the first had done. Before he could do more than blush, she shimmied around his body until he was basically giving her a piggyback ride.

“Ugh, fine, Harry. But you know Professor Dumbledore trusts him,” she said, rolling her eyes. “Let’s go then.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) I wrote this one a while back before I ever started Midnight’s Godson and lost the thread of plot I was following, but I think I can work out where to go from here!
> 
> Also, yes, that is a genderbent Buu. She and Android 21 may or may not have also been dreaming what he’s been dreaming.
> 
> Other Dragonball characters will make appearances in later chapters, most due to time travel.


	2. Today Was a Surprise

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!
> 
> In case you don't know, I like to use flashbacks as exposition.
> 
> And I have enough headaches with honorifics in Midnight's Godson, so I'm foregoing those this time around.

_**Long ago…** _

Android 21 sat uneasily on the examination table in Briefs Bulma's lab, her stomach in a constant state of turmoil. Her good side had absorbed her evil side after Son Goku had beaten her with a spirit bomb, but the hunger was beginning to become unbearable and insatiable once again.

So, the blue haired scientist, in a fit of brilliance, had sent some of her friends to the lab that the android had come out of to see if they could find any blueprints on her make and model. Lo and behold, true to form, the insane doctor had kept detailed documentation of her. A little creepy, to be honest, if the detailed drawings of her naked form (both forms!) were anything to go by.

She had been pleased to learn that her real name was Diamond, even if her surname hadn't been listed. Maybe someday, she'd actually start using it. At the moment, she was too accustomed to being called "21", just as 17 and 18 didn't go by "Lapis" and "Lazuli" respectively.

"A-ha! Here it is, 21!" Bulma suddenly exclaimed. She motioned to one of the documents spread about on her workstation. "This is the point where Dr. Gero had modified the DNA he'd gotten from Majin Buu to chemically imbalance your brain into thinking you're always hungry!"

The artificial human gasped and moved faster than the human eye could see to look over the scientist's shoulder at her finding. She stared down at the document, "Hmm, I see it too. Do you think you can reverse it?"

"I do believe so, but it'll take a while and we'll need Buu to participate too. She won't be difficult to convince. Especially since she sees you as her little sister," Bulma laughed lightheartedly.

21 laughed with her, remembering the first time she'd met the Majin once her evil side had been subdued. The smaller woman had immediately latched onto her, screaming in joy that she had a baby sister.

"Just give me about a week and I'll whip up some capsule pods for you two to rest in while we fix the glitch in your DNA. The downside to doing this is that it may take a year or even more. Are you sure you don't want to use the Dragon Balls for this?" Bulma asked.

The pink woman nodded, "I'm sure. What if I resist the effect even a little bit and then later on, I regress back into constant hunger? We can't keep wishing the problem away, I want it fixed permanently and this could be our best chance."

"Have it your way, 21. According to these blueprints, you should have the same longevity as Buu does when you're not active, so a year or longer shouldn't be too much of an issue for you. Especially if there's…" Bulma scowled suddenly and distastefully. "… _magic_ in the air. Ugh, I swear there's nothing more unscientific than the word 'magic.' But you and Buu apparently have some form of it, so there should be a sort of feedback loop there where your energy replenishes hers and vice versa."

* * *

Three days later, Bulma hit an unexpected snag in her design plans for the pods, resulting in an extra day of work to set up a separate computer with a True Uninterruptible Power Supply just to run the pods for at least a year.

Android 21 quickly pointed out another snag in the plan. The computer's processing power would make the correction take at least a decade in sleep mode. Which the computer needed to avoid burning itself out if it were constantly on for the time needed _out_ of the sleep mode.

However, her hunger was growing ever larger and harder to ignore with each day that passed, so she couldn't afford to wait longer for a better processor to be made. Thankfully, Bulma's power supply was up for the challenge. The last version she'd made was when she was a teenager and it was still going strong.

Despite that, it wasn't just hunger gnawing at her stomach when she finally lay down in the finished pod, right next to Buu's. She watched the blue haired scientist fiddle with a helmet placed securely over the smaller pink woman's head, "So, you're sure the power will last at least ten years, right, Bulma?"

"Positive. It should keep your bodies in a relative state of suspended animation, only expending enough energy to keep each other functioning while Buu's DNA sequence overwrites yours in the appropriate spots to curb your hunger," she replied, the subject of her fussing letting out the occasional ticklish giggle when a wire was inserted. "Then all I need to do is wake the two of you up ten years from now…Hmm, actually make it fifteen to be safe."

"Buu feel tingly!" exclaimed Buu when the final wire was inserted. How Bulma had found a way to interface with the smaller pink woman's mind was beyond even 21's analytical mind.

"To the two of you, it'll be like being put under for surgery then poof! Time will have passed like nothing had happened," explained Bulma.

"And all the threats to Earth in the meantime? What if something happens like it always seems to?" 21 asked pointedly.

"That's why we have Goku and Vegeta. And a certain Angel and Destroyer God on speed dial otherwise. And a magic wish granting dragon on not just one, but _two_ planets," the scientist waved her off, hustling over to pull up her long, wild hair into a helmet similar to Buu's. "Now, hold still and stop worrying."

At first, the helmet was rather uncomfortable, but slowly, it seemed to mold itself to her head and hair shape. Then she felt each and every wire being inserted, strangely into a different part of her body each time even if she knew the wires were going into the helmet. She had to bite back a yelp when one of the wires tickled a very intimate place. The final wire caused her skin to tingle pleasantly all over.

"There! You two are all set, now lie down and get ready for the best dreamless sleep you've had in years," said Bulma. "Oh and there might be some side effects to this transferral. A syncing of sorts in your brain waves, nothing to concern yourselves with. It'll fade in time if you let it."

Well, that was a hell of a thing to say just as the pods were closing.

* * *

In what felt like no time at all, the two pink women felt that something had gone wrong when they found themselves simultaneously in a black void.

"Baby sister? What you doing in Buu's head?" Buu asked with a tilt of her head, looking around curiously. "A little empty to be Buu's head though. Definitely too empty to be baby sister's head too."

"I…have no idea, Buu. I mean, Bulma _did_ say that we'd develop a synchronization of our brain waves, so maybe it manifested this way?" 21 theorized.

"Hmm, Buu no feel body though. Feel good tingles are gone," she said with a deep frown and puffed out cheeks.

"Wait, didn't Bulma also say that our sleep would be dreamless? Then how are we dreaming like this?" the pink android mumbled to herself, ignoring Buu's lamentations.

"Oh wait, there they are again!" Buu exclaimed excitedly, not realizing she was speaking to no one. A blurred image appeared opposite her on a "wall" of the void. "Oh, what's that?"

"But if the sleep's supposed to be dreamless, and we're dreaming, does that mean that Bulma miscalculated more than that? I mean, I don't feel hungry at all…Or do I? Huh. Am I bored or am I hungry? I mean, it's better than before, but…" 21 continued to mumble. "Wait, the tingles are back. So, am I bored, hungry, or horny? It's really just a tossup."

"Oooh, that looks fun. Is that Buu? Is that Buu with handsome man?" the smaller Majin babbled, watching the image closely. It was a shame it was extremely blurred, but she could clearly make out two pink figures with a pale male figure in the throes of passion.

Oh, but she could see the prettiest green eyes she'd ever seen in her life. The messy black hair wasn't new because that was all she knew of black haired individuals was that they had messy hair.

"What the hell?!" the android suddenly exclaimed at the exact moment Buu felt a pair of lips against her own.

"Oh, did baby sister feel that too? Did baby sister kiss Buu? Buu not mind, but Buu prefer baby sister ask first," Buu said with a broad smile, still watching the erotic, if blurry scene.

"What? No, I didn't…Those were more like…Oh. OH!" 21 said when she turned around to regard the other pink woman. Her icy blue eyes snapped to the scene unfolding on the wall and her face lit up in a luminescent blush. "Buu! Are you dreaming this or am I dreaming this?"

"Don't know, don't care! Buu like what Buu sees! Buu hope man is handsome!" she exclaimed. "Does baby sister think handsome man exists? He has very pretty eyes!"

The pink android tore her eyes away from the undulating, writhing bodies to look into the man's eyes. Her own eyes widened at the vast whirlpool of emotions contained within. Intelligence, warmth, love, and attraction featured prominently, but there was still more: anger, pain, anguish, regret, the desire for revenge, and above all else, loneliness that was fading ever so slowly.

"Wait, no! Bring it back! Buu not done!" Buu whined when the scene began to fade. She puffed out her cheeks in frustration, steam pouring out of her arm holes with a sharp whistle.

The scene shifted to just a blank stone wall and stayed there for some time.

"Well, this is boring. I wonder why we're seeing this. Do you think we might be syncing minds with someone else, Buu? Is that even possible?" 21 asked.

"Mmm, maybe. Back when Buu still evil boy Buu, Bibidi tell Buu that Buu's mate have connection with Buu. But then Buu didn't care about making little Buus, Buu just blew up a planet," the smaller pink woman said thoughtfully.

"Then why am I seeing this too?" she asked curiously.

This made Buu gasp and suddenly hug her "baby sister". She then began to exclaim, "That means Buu's baby sister share man with Buu! And then baby sister never has to leave Buu!"

21's face once again lit up with a luminescent blush and she began to stutter out that she couldn't, only for the smaller Majin to cover her mouth with her hand.

"You like Goku, right?" she asked, receiving a silent, hesitant nod. "Buu liked Goku too, but Goku's wife was stingy. She didn't want to share with Buu. Buu not stingy, Buu share handsome man with baby sister to let baby sister love too!"

"Buu, that's just not how things are done though!" was the reply, slightly muffled by the hand.

"Buu not care. Buu love baby sister and if handsome man want Buu and baby sister, then Buu share!" Buu exclaimed vehemently. It was kind of heartwarming in a strange way to 21. "Hmm…And if handsome man find more pretty ladies, then Buu not mind sharing with them too, but they have to beat Buu first! Handsome man deserves only the best and strongest!"

And there's the extra strange when it comes to Buu. She might be onto something though in her own simplistic way.

The pink android would be lying if she said the idea was unappealing. She wasn't experienced in the ways of courtship, so she'd avoid quite a bit of heartache if Buu's "handsome man" accepted her too.

* * *

Time passed differently in the void, feeling much like the Hyperbolic Time Chamber in that regard. Most of the time, the dreams would alternate between erotic and boring, much like before.

However, sometimes, the dreams would turn clear, but both women wished that they hadn't. On occasion, the dream would show the middle of a graveyard where a young man was killed by a burst of green light and the void would fill with almost tangible melancholic grief and regret. Afterwards, a rat-like man would do…something and say things in a strange language around a giant stone cauldron.

Then a deathly pale, snake-like man would rise from the cauldron and stare at them with glowing red, reptilian eyes. The dream would usually end there, sometimes before and abruptly each time.

Sometimes, the dreams would be a vast room with a great stone arch in the middle. Two groups of people would be flitting about, throwing different colored lights at each other from sticks in their hands. The focus would turn to a gaunt man who looked to be regaining once-lost vestiges of handsomeness. A jet of light would hit him, sent from a crazed, gaunt woman and the man would fall through the arch and disappear.

21 and Buu would often discuss the possibility that Buu's mate had either seen or experienced the dreams; and if so, they would gain his favor by using the Dragon Balls to relieve his grief. Even if the two hadn't been killed within a year, they'd looked healthy up until the lights had hit them, so the dragon would bring them back right before their time of death regardless of the time.

The power of the dragon would implant a reasonable doubt within people's minds that the two had actually survived their encounters. Dende had needed to add such a thing when too many people began to question once dead people coming back to life.

Often, they also wondered how long they'd been asleep, given that they recognized none of the landmarks or people involved in the dreams. Sure, they could be happening elsewhere on the planet, but where and what language were they speaking?

The possibility of them sleeping past Bulma's time was brought up. Disquieted though they were about the scenario, it could happen since tragedy struck on a regular basis for the Z Fighters, usually reversed by the Dragon Balls. Maybe their luck had run out once and for all? They'd have to have a look around once they woke, but at least they still had each other.

Speaking of waking up, suddenly 21 felt herself drifting away from the void. She quickly yelled out a promise to wake Buu as soon as possible before the void faded completely. In a split second before she awoke completely, a video downloaded itself into her mind.

A broken looking Bulma was gazing sadly at a camera, her face oddly sagging to one side. Her words were slurred, so she spoke slowly to make sure she was understood, "Hello, 21, if you're seeing this, you're about to wake up. Which I think is a…small chance of happening. I remember making the command for waking you and Buu something elaborate. However, I can't remember. I only remembered enough to make this and have the computer put it in your mind at the right moment.

"It's been eight years since you two went into your pods and…I outhought myself somehow. Or I thought too hard for too long, I don't know what the doctor said. Something about stress and overwork. Some wires in my brain got criss-crossed and burnt out. We can't even wish for it to be fixed.

"I left one of the Dragon Balls in my emergency workbench when Frieza came back for them again, but since I made it pretty much indestructible and the locks have had their failsafes activate, it's lost to us now. Goku and Vegeta didn't want to risk destroying it with the workbench. I've also left the spare Dragon Radar and a set of capsules in as well."

A sniff and the sound of a glove rubbing against skin came from "offscreen," causing Bulma to smile forlornly, "It's okay, Vegeta. I don't blame you or Goku. I blame my hubris."

She cleared her throat and continued, "I hope you and Buu wake up someday and I hope your hunger glitch is fixed too. I wish you both the best and I'm sorry I couldn't be there to wake you two up and announce the good news like always. Good luck to both of you."

Once the video played through in her mind, 21 sat up and yawned to get the oxygen flow to her tired body going. The helmet weighed heavily on her slightly atrophied neck muscles, so she reached up to feel for the wires, trying to recall how Bulma had engaged them.

It was a surprise when a pair of warm, calloused hands patted her own. She could feel every nook and cranny of the roughly hewn hands when they gently gripped hers and placed them at her sides. Those same hands left hers and she felt the wires that Bulma had applied so long ago being pulled off the helmet.

A feminine voice spoke up nearby and she turned toward it. What an odd accent. When the helmet pulled free from her head, her eyes took a brief moment to adjust before they scanned the room. Such odd trinkets and bobbles, oh there's the female who spoke, where's…Oh, it's _him_.

21 looked deeply into those green pools of emotion. The most prominent right now was recognition somehow. She tilted her head in wonder. Did he dream of her and Buu as well? Oh, there was something in the air coming from him. An indefinable sense of _power_ that was intermixed with his life energy. A similar energy was coming from the brown-haired woman, but nowhere near as much.

The high cheek bones, pointed chin, and slightly sunken cheeks gave him a very pleasing look altogether. The strange scar on his forehead and the glasses over his eyes only added to his charm.

It took a short period of time for him to come to his senses and he took a step back before offering his calloused hand to her to help her out of the pod.

The pink android laughed lightly, "What a gentleman you are, handsome. You're not getting away that easily, though."

She grabbed his hand gently and pulled him closer, throwing her other arm over his shoulders and using her tail to grab his other hand to place it under her legs. The brown-haired woman said something in that language of theirs.

Finally, he spoke in a pleasing baritone, replying to whatever was said in what she could hear was a teasing tone of voice. Finally, he lifted her tired body out of the pod in a bridal carry. He barely seemed to notice that she was denser than most humans her size.

The brown-haired one rolled her eyes and said something in a rather bossy tone of voice. These two better not be another Goku and Chi-Chi. Let's see how the female responded to this.

21 leaned up to give the man holding her a brief, but affectionate kiss to his jawline. She then pulled herself down to try and see if her legs felt as tired as the rest of her. Like with most others, she was at least a head taller than the man, even without her heels. Her gait was rubbery, but improving while she took a few careful, practice steps. The man said something in a low voice, blushing adorably. Good, and the female hadn't objected yet.

Speaking of, the pink android walked ungainly over to her new object of study. She looked her up and down, evaluating her and comparing her to the man for potential familial relations. Nothing screamed out at her that they were related though. It could be less than obvious, however. Oh well, she had a Buu to wake up.

21 shooed away the brown-haired one and leaned over the computer she vacated. Oh, good, the previous command was still displayed. How the hell did they manage to get that if they couldn't understand each other?! She began to type rapidly to replicate the command, but replacing the strings to refer to the second pod while the two humans conversed with one another.

Strangely, they were wearing similar black robes along with red and gold colored ties. The trim of their robes matched as well. Was there something to that?

A loud, feminine gasp drew her attention and she was briefly taken aback at the look on the brown-haired woman's face. It looked eerily similar to one Bulma had whenever she had something to study. She continued her work as they continued their conversation.

She raised an eyebrow at the playful arm punch that the brown-haired woman gave the black-haired man. If they weren't related, it certainly seemed like they had a sibling-like relationship. Oh well, once she learned the language, she'd know for sure, but Buu needed to be woken up before she panicked too much.

21 winced at the squealing hydraulics of the second pod. Those sounded absolutely _ancient_! How long were they in those for?! The man moved closer to Buu's pod. Good, she wanted to see how he reacted to Buu's more playful nature. He looked down into her pod and seemed to linger on certain parts of the Majin's anatomy, she noticed.

The pink android typed in the command to activate the helmet to wake her "big sister" up and smiled to herself when the black-haired man removed the helmet meticulously, much like her own. Buu seemed to appreciate that because she was actually hugging him!

The brown-haired female started to tease him, but suddenly gasped and relayed some sort of information that made his jaw tighten in anger. She saw him school his expression to a more neutral one once he removed the helmet entirely. He stared down at Buu while she stared up at him. Aww, that's so adorable, they recognize each other!

"Hey, Buu! Get him to pick you up! He did it for me!" 21 said with a smile.

The smaller pink Majin's face lit up with excitement and she held out her arms with a glowing smile. He seemed to take this in stride, merely shrugging before acquiescing and picking her up in a bridal carry. 21's smile grew when Buu squealed out and nestled herself into his arms.

The other two carried on a conversation even while the excitable pink woman in the man's arms chattered, "…And Buu will protect handsome man from strong evil baddies who want to hurt handsome man! Buu keep handsome man warm at night…"

The pink android watched speculatively while the brown-haired woman tapped a stick against the locked trays of Bulma's workbench. Each tap warranted a soft "click" from each separate tray. She reached down and tugged gently on each tray, beaming when they opened freely. She found Bulma's spare dragon radar in the first tray, a case of capsules in the next, and finally, her grand prize: the five-star Dragon Ball!

' _Yes! Either Dende's still around or he's passed on guardianship of the Earth, but either way, the balls aren't inert!_ ' 21 thought triumphantly. The dark-haired man was watching her with a curious look in his green eyes. She looked at his robe for a moment before spotting a large outside pocket. ' _That'll do nicely! Hopefully I can somehow convince him to keep it secret…If not, maybe the legend of the Dragon Balls has faded?_ '

The pink android unloaded her wonderful prizes into his pocket with a playful smile. His low chuckle sounded amused and so did the words out of his mouth. The brown-haired woman appeared to be suggesting leaving this strange room. The dark-haired man's countenance turned stormy at something she said because his next sentence would've made Vegeta proud of the growl behind it. One word seemed to have all of his vitriol behind it and if she heard it right, it was something like "snaip".

Buu pouted at the angry look and gave him a kiss, ironically in the same spot 21 had before. His anger turned to a bashful blush, even while Buu climbed around him to put herself into a piggyback ride position.

The two humans prepared to leave this room, beckoning for 21 to follow them. It wasn't until that exact moment that she had actually noticed the complete lack of the pervasive gnawing hunger that plagued her existence. It was like a weight had been lifted from her shoulders. There was a type of hunger, but she instinctively felt that if she ate something, it'd go away.

* * *

"Say, Hermione. Do you think the Marauder's Map would identify these two?" Harry asked, leading the group out of the vault and the hidden hall.

"That's a very good question. Do you want me to check or can you handle it with your passenger?" she replied, curious as well. The pink women were staring at the disappearing hallway with awe. The tall one was actually examining the wall and its surrounding windows with a baffled expression, mumbling something in Japanese.

The green-eyed wizard dug in his robe's inner pocket for a moment for the map with some small difficulty, having to work around a pair of strong legs wrapped around his torso. Thankfully, she seemed to notice his difficulty and loosened her grip momentarily. After giving the password, she gasped at the images on the map appearing before her very eyes.

"You know, Hermione, I want that feeling back," he said, scanning the map for their position. At her questioning look, he smiled and pointed with his thumb at this passenger's awestruck expression. "That feeling of awe and wonder at the magical world. We've lost it somewhere and now it's just…"

"I think I know what you mean, Harry. Now, it's just routine for something like a moving staircase to stop us on the way to class," she replied speculatively. "Maybe it'd help if…Harry?"

Harry looked over at his friend, noticing her narrowing eyes focused on his…wand, oh no. She's way too observant.

Her voice sounded rather dangerous, "Where did you get that wand, Harry James Potter? That's not your holly wand! Did you take that out of the vault?"

Uh oh, the full name. He gulped nervously and smiled at her hesitantly, "I know what you're probably thinking, Hermione. But let me ask you, would Godric Gryffindor have wanted one of his students harmed?"

A little misdirection and he might get away with it. Hermione's eyes were still narrowed, but now curious. The pink women with them were looking at them curiously, obviously feeling the tension in the air.

"You're telling me exactly what you did in that vault before you called for me, mister. I want to know everything, you hear me?" she suddenly demanded.

"Fine, you'll hear everything when I tell Professor Flitwick, actually. I can see that he's still alone in his office and there we…are…" Harry trailed off, staring down at the map. "Huh. 'Majin Buu'—"

The woman on his back shifted and leaned down to put her face in his peripherals with a "Hai?" He pointed at her and repeated the name, earning him a confused, but beaming nod when she exclaimed "Buu!" He then turned to the curious tall woman, referring to the map once more.

"—I'm going to butcher this, but 'Mabushii Diamond'?"

Her head tilted a little at the sound of what should be her name before a look of recognition lit up her face and she excitedly nodded. She pointed to herself and rattled off "Jinzoningen Nijuichi Go" before remembering he didn't understand her. So she simply said "Diamond" and nodded. Then she looked at him expectantly.

He pointed at himself and simply said, "Harry."

Diamond looked at him, smiled, and said "Harry." Followed by Buu hugging him from behind and calling out, "Harry!" The process, minus Buu's hug, repeated with Hermione on their way to Professor Flitwick's office.

Luckily, they didn't run into anyone unexpected and soon found themselves knocking on the Charms Professor's door, who called out a squeaky "Come in, come in!"

When they entered, Professor Flitwick was looking down grading homework, "What can I do for you—" and when he looked up, he squeaked in surprise at the pink women around his favorite student's son.

"Merciful Merlin, Mr. Potter! I thought you waited until the end of the year to have an adventure! Come, sit down! Tell me everything, please!" exclaimed the diminutive professor, clearly eager to learn something new. "Especially if it means a new species of magical beings has been discovered!"

The green-eyed wizard sat down in one of the offered chairs after helping a reluctant Buu down into one. A wave of the professor's wand conjured two more for the remaining two women. Hermione leaned in excitedly to learn what he'd done. He started, "Well, professor, it started after I left breakfast this morning. I wandered around the castle looking for someplace to be alone for a while…"

"A rousing success, Mr. Potter, if I do say so myself," joked Professor Flitwick.

"At first, I was, but then I found this portrait of Merlin in the Armory…" Harry trailed off at the suddenly stern look on the usually jovial professor's face.

"Be careful with that portrait, Mr. Potter. Before you came to Hogwarts, there was a series of mishaps starting with that portrait's guidance and the headmaster has forbidden any student from asking it about the Cursed Vaults," he said. "Though I'm unsure of how you might've known about them…"

"I didn't actually ask him about them. He talked about leading another student to them before," he replied, going through the conversation in his head once again. "He didn't actually tell me where to find them and he referred to the last one as a 'hidden vault', not a cursed one, too. He even only hinted at where the last one was too."

"Ah, that'll be Merlin getting around the headmaster's embargo of information. A clever one, he is. Very well, Mr. Potter, I assume from your lack of injury that there was no curse on this vault?" asked Professor Flitwick curiously.

"Well, yes, there is actually, but it was behind a suit of armor that was once Salazar Slytherin's, so it didn't activate because I used Parseltongue. Before that, Merlin and I had briefly discussed Parseltongue as well. Before I continue, professor, I'd like to ask you something about the Patronus charm," he said, remembering his change of Patronus.

"Ask away, Mr. Potter! I'll answer to the best of my abilities," his teacher replied.

"When Merlin and I discussed Parseltongue, he told me that spells could be cast in it and that potions could be made better when it's spoken while brewing them. So, when I came out of the vault to tell Hermione about it with a messenger Patronus, I cast it in Parseltongue and what came out wasn't my usual stag. It was a horned serpent, I think," he explained. The House Head of Ravenclaw grew ever more excited with each word, until he was bouncing up and down by the end.

"Could you please reproduce what you did for me, Mr. Potter? I'd love to see this for myself!" he exclaimed.

Harry nodded, withdrawing his "new" snakewood wand and concentrating on his happy memory. He hissed out the phrase from earlier and the giant horned serpent construct erupted from his wand. Buu clapped along with Professor Flitwick in excitement at the bright snake.

A hissing behind him shocked him, §You speak this language too?! What was that phrase you spoke?§

His head whipped around in sync with Hermione's and Professor Flitwick's to Diamond. His eyebrows raised up into his hairline; he answered, §Yes, it is the language of snakes and is a rare magical ability. What I said was an incantation for a guardian spirit.§

"Oh my! How amazing, she speaks Parseltongue too? Does the other one do it as well?" the teacher asked, examining Buu for recognition of the hissing. It was refreshing to see a scholarly approach to the ability rather than just close-mindedly screaming that it's dark.

§Truly? I cannot recall if I've ever heard a snake before. I've only ever heard…Hmm, this language doesn't have the name of the species, but they're two-legged slugs with fangs from the stars. It is wonderful that we have a common language. I look forward to speaking with you more after you're finished talking with your elder,§ Diamond said with a smile.

Harry's mind was reeling at the implications of her words. Slug people from space? What the hell happened in the past?! He hissed out incredulously, §I was not prepared for today.§

She laughed at that and patted him on the shoulder comfortingly, switching back to Japanese to speak to her smaller friend. Suddenly, she gasped and began hissing once more, §The sphere I gave to you! Keep it secret for now. I need to make sure the others of its kind still exist later and I'll tell you of their use afterwards. Trust me, please?§

He tentatively nodded to her before he looked at the curious scholars waiting for a translation, "Uuh, she just said that she didn't know that she spoke snake. I'll have to ask later how she knows it."

"Ah, understood. Well, as for your question, Mr. Potter, I am sorry to say that I had no idea this could be done. But I'll look into it. If you don't mind, perhaps we can set aside some time during the weekends to study this phenomena more in depth? I'd love to see the effects of Parseltongue on other charms as well!" Professor Flitwick said hopefully. At his nod, the professor smiled gratefully and motioned for him to continue his story.

Harry continued his story with Slytherin's armor and using Parseltongue to enter the vault. At the mention of the founders' portraits, the teacher fell out of his chair excitedly. It was looking like a red letter day for the scholar with all these new discoveries. He asked for an agreement of discretion before showing the ring and the wand, which the professor readily gave if it meant more knowledge.

"My word, Mr. Potter, this ring is a marvel of magical crafting and enchantment. You said that you were able to identify individual potions ingredients after putting it on? I can see from my diagnostics that it can do even more that it hasn't revealed to you yet," he said, waving his wand over the ring. "Though exactly what, I cannot tell. The spells are very archaic and complicated, as expected from one of the Founders.

"And I completely agree, keeping this knowledge from most others in these troubled times is the best course of action. However, I will inform the headmaster once he returns and your head of house as well."

"I suspected as much…Oh! Don't you think we might need her here to tell her about Diamond and Buu?" Harry asked after a nudge from Felix. It was a softer nudge than the earlier ones, so he estimated a little less than an hour of the potion remained.

"Oh, quite right, Mr. Potter! Wait here, please. I'll floo her. Hopefully, she's in her office," Professor Flitwick said, jumping down from his chair to walk to the fireplace on the other side of his office.

Out of the corner of his eye, Harry saw that Hermione had actually been taking notes of his story. He then turned to Diamond and hissed, §My teacher is going to bring another here. While he does that, please tell me what is in my pocket.§

She hummed in thought, §The case contains collapsing objects that I thought might be useful. A…denmate? Such an odd way of phrasing it this language has, but a denmate of mine's male progenitor created them. They contain objects much larger than the capsules themselves.

§The circular object is a…There's no word for it—Oh! A scent finder for the other six spheres like the one in your pocket. When you gather all seven, it summons a wish-granting…Wow, that's insulting. A wish-granting overgrown lizard that wishes it could match the King of Serpents. What's the King of Serpents?§

' _The way she said denmate sounded like a friend to me, a scent finder must be some sort of tracker, and I didn't know snakes didn't like dragons. Interesting,_ ' Harry thought.

He then hissed out, §The King of Serpents is one that has deadly venom and a killing gaze. As for the overgrown lizard, what sort of wishes can it grant? Could it be used to conquer a foe that has plagued me since I was a hatchling?§

§Perhaps, but its power is limited by its creator. My denmates would often use it to bring their dead back to life,§ Diamond hissed with a sad smile.

Harry's eyes widened at the implications. He'd been told this whole time that no magic could truly bring back the dead, but the ball in his pocket could summon something with the capability of doing so? Could he…?

"Harry!" whispered Hermione urgently. "You look like you've seen a ghost…Well, one you weren't expecting and walked through. What'd she say?!"

"I…She…" he was still gaping at the woman, trying not to let his hopes up just in case they were dashed. He jumped at the sudden stern voice cutting through his thoughts.

"Mr. Potter! Filius tells me that you've not only found some guests within Hogwarts, but historically significant items as well. I can see the guests, but are the items true as well?" Professor McGonagall asked.

"Er…Yes, professor," Harry said hesitantly. He wasn't exactly ready to give up his new ring and wand, hoping that Professor Flitwick had kept his word of discretion. He noticed the small professor's wink behind his Head of House. "Portraits of the Founders, the original resting place of the Sword of Gryffindor, and other stuff I didn't quite get a good look at."

"Very well done, Mr. Potter! I think I see another award for services to the school in your future, but for now, have two hundred points for Gryffindor for outstanding discoveries," she said with a proud smile before turning stern once more. "I must say, your troublemaking is many times more interesting than your father's. And for that, I feel I must take away twenty points from Gryffindor."

"I…Thank you, professor. Hermione helped me with finding these two though," Harry said with a smile. Hermione looked ready to protest until the deputy headmistress fixed her with a curious look.

"I see. In that case, have fifty points to Gryffindor for discovering new magical beings, Miss Granger," she said, the small proud smile back on her face.

"And have another fifty points to Gryffindor for outstanding spellwork involving another language, Mister Potter!" squeaked out Professor Flitwick. "Please continue your story. I've given a brief summary to Minerva so far."

Harry nodded and continued his story with the events after asking Hermione to come down to the vault. Specifically, taking Felix Felicis and turning on a computer that was supposed to be over a thousand years old and releasing the two women. He gave his friend a significant look when he left out the bounty of objects in his pocket before finishing with his decision to consult Professor Flitwick.

"Normally, I would suggest that you engaged in foolhardy actions, Mr. Potter, but your use of your prize from Horace says otherwise. If my knowledge of the potion is accurate, then you were correct that anything you did regarding that object would have resulted in a positive outcome," speculated Professor McGonagall. She briefly studied the pink women who were in their own conversation at the moment.

The deputy headmistress then turned to the messy haired young man, "Given that you are the only one who can communicate with one of them from what Filius has told me, they are officially your responsibility for the time being, Mr. Potter. The headmaster will make the final decision on their inclusion to Hogwarts past Yule break.

"To make this simple, I will have the house elves expand the sixth year girls' dormitories and I expect you to relay that they are to sleep there, Mr. Potter. As long as they do not disturb class, I will not object to their presence and I'm sure Filius, Horace, and Pomona would not as well. Severus may not be so charitable, but I expect you know as much."

She suddenly sniffed in disapproval upon looking at their attire before continuing, "A trip to Diagon Alley during Yule for robes wouldn't go amiss, but that's up to you, Mr. Potter. I understand that such a trip could potentially be somewhat dangerous for especially yourself."

"And I'll look for a magical interpreter for you, Mr. Potter. An appropriate translation charm applied to you and to them should do the trick," Professor Flitwick said.

He noticed Hermione's crestfallen look and chuckled, "And of course to Miss Granger as well. The charm itself is a work of art. It teaches the recipient the language, so by the time it wears off, the recipient is fluent. Sadly, I know it doesn't work for Parseltongue as it's been tried in India where Parselmouths aren't discriminated against."

"And I know this is somewhat futile, but stay out of trouble, Mr. Potter, Miss Granger. You may leave at your leisures if you have no further questions," the deputy headmistress finished. She bid farewell to the Charms professor before stepping through the floo into her office.

"You go ahead, Harry. I have some questions for Professor Flitwick on our reading assignment since I'm already here," Hermione said.

"Of course, Miss Granger! And Mr. Potter, this time next weekend, perhaps? I'll try to get an interpreter here by then as well, so you are welcome too, Miss Granger. Mr. Weasley too if he desires," Professor Flitwick said.

The green-eyed wizard nodded and stood to leave, Buu and Diamond followed immediately after. When the shorter woman crawled up his back to reassume the piggyback position while they left, he hissed, §Is this going to be a constant thing with her?§

Diamond laughed at his question and hissed back, §Give her time, she's excited to be out of that pod. We've been sort of aware of…I don't know how much time for a while. There were dreams before we were woken up.§

She tapped her chin in thought, §And do you know where we can get something to eat? As you might expect, we're kind of hungry. Since you didn't understand, Buu was complaining a lot back there, asking for food.§

Harry glanced over at her, a sudden suspicion on his mind at the mention of dreams. He stopped at a secret passageway that led to an abandoned classroom near the kitchens.

§Dreams, you say? What kind of dreams?§ he asked nonchalantly, pulling aside a tapestry and pushing on a blank wall to open up the passage.

The green-eyed wizard nearly stumbled on the uneven stonework when Diamond hissed back, §Erotic dreams. And some nightmares.§

He stared at her with some disbelief. He hadn't expected her to be so forthcoming.

She smiled knowingly, §Judging by the look on your face, you've been experiencing the same thing, haven't you?§

§Yes and I just wasn't expecting you to just come out and say it. I'm more used to being kept uninformed,§ Harry hissed. Buu said something impatiently on his back to Diamond.

§Well, how else do you expect us to build up trust? Come on, let's get going to get food. Buu's still asking,§ she suggested. He couldn't help but agree, especially after being kept in the dark for an entire year had led to his godfather's death. Although…

§Right. And is that why you told me about the spheres? Can the overgrown lizard really bring the dead back to life? True life?§ he asked when he continued to lead them through the passage.

§Yes, it can. I may not have witnessed it myself, but my previous denmates summoned the overgrown lizard quite frequently. They were protectors of this planet and they didn't always survive their encounters,§ Diamond explained.

Harry stepped out into the abandoned classroom, processing that information. He pulled the round device out of his pocket and stared down at it before handing it to the taller pink woman, §So, does this still work and how soon can we find those spheres?§

The tall pink woman beamed at him and pressed the button on top of the device a couple times. He saw from the side that it was lighting up and showing blinking lights on the green grid. She giggled and hissed, §It works and as soon as we can leave here, actually. When can you leave?§

He was about to answer after opening the door of the classroom, but was interrupted by a familiar, hated voice yelling out, "Potter! There you are, you worthless mudblood lover! I can finally…What the hell are those _beasts_ with you?!"

Harry growled and levelled his snakewood wand at his blonde nemesis with the stupid looking pale and pointed face, Draco Malfoy. His Felix must be…Wait, no it was still going with about twenty minutes left. Why didn't it warn him? Was this useful for him? Wait, he was alone for once. He could goad him into revealing important information.

"None of your business, Malfoy. I have permission from the deputy headmistress to escort these two women around Hogwarts. Now leave before I curse your Death Eater arse," he snarled at the blonde. The ugly look that crossed Malfoy's face was worth it.

"Of course, can't get a proper woman, so you have to resort to creatures, huh, Potter? Tell you what, I won't take you to the Dark Lord today if you give me one of them," Malfoy smirked arrogantly.

Meanwhile, the two women were watching with unease at the tension in the air. Especially the power pouring off the dark haired man they were with. How could this blonde idiot _not_ feel that?

§Harry? Is there a problem here?§ hissed Diamond. The blonde Slytherin's mouth dropped at the sound of Parseltongue.

§Yes, this frogspawn works for the fly-eating gecko that destroyed my den and killed my progenitors. He happily and eagerly licks that egg stealer's tail,§ Harry spat angrily. After Diamond translated the diatribe in her head (and realizing he was using some of the nastiest insults known to snake-kind), she scowled at the pale wizard and called out in Japanese to Buu.

He felt, rather than saw, Buu move on his back. She called out something then a pink beam of energy shot out from above his head to hit a suddenly panicked Malfoy. Oh, if this got out, he was in trouble, but at least they were in a portraitless area of the castle. Wait, was Malfoy always a…bar of chocolate?! He watched with a little horror and a lot more satisfaction as the bar of chocolate flew through the air, over his head, and into Buu's waiting mouth.

§I was not prepared for today. I was _not_ prepared for today. Please tell me that didn't happen, Diamond. If anyone finds out, I'm in trouble because I'm supposed to be responsible for you two,§ Harry hissed weakly. He looked around and noticed no one in waiting, no Snape to take points or demand expulsion, and all he heard was the pink woman on his back humming in appreciation of the chocolate.

§Oh, don't worry, he's still alive and Buu can let him out whenever she wants. She's just doing that to absorb his knowledge,§ she replied reassuringly, patting him on the shoulder. §Just give her a little time to absorb it all. Food will help.§

§Food, right. Come on then,§ he hissed a little numbly. He stepped up to the painting of food hiding the kitchens and tickled the pear. A giggle came from the painting and the pear grew a handle which he pulled on to reveal the mass of working house elves. §Reminds me of the time someone else turned him into a ferret.§

The house elves inside the kitchen swarmed them eagerly, bowing and scraping at their feet. Harry told them to get some breakfast foods together for his guests and some hot tea for himself; the hoard of elves bowed once more and set about with their task. He motioned for the two women to sit down at one of the tables mirroring the ones above in the Great Hall.

"Great Master Harry Potter sir comes to be visiting Dobby again!" squealed a familiar voice. "And he bes bringing new pink friends! Hello, Great Master Harry Potter sir's new pink friends!"

"Calm down, please, Dobby. They don't speak Eng—" Harry started, only to be cut off by Buu laughing happily and his jaw dropped at her next sentence because it was in full English.

"Hello, Dobby! Buu is happy to meet you! Stupid blonde Death Eater Buu ate let Buu understand you and…" she suddenly smiled a rather sultry smile at him, "…Great _Master_ Harry Potter, sir."

' _Brain, please process. Pretty pink lady call Harry Master after weeks of erotic dreams about her and another. File not found. Hey, aliens exist too and they speak snake. Task frozen. End process ,_ ' he thought right before fainting in shock, his thoughts strangely taken over by the computer classes he had in primary school.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) I feel bad doing Bulma dirty with a stroke like that, but if she had just died somehow, it would've been all too easy for her to come back or her spirit to just go "Hey, password is this to wake up 21 and Buu."
> 
> The whole Namekian being snakes as well as slugs thing was inspired by me just thinking, "Man, those are some awfully big fangs for just slugs."
> 
> And yes, Half-Blood Prince's plot will be immediately unravelled and Deathly Hallows will pretty much be eliminated entirely. With two planet busters on his side and ready to jump his bones, it's kind of expected. Voldemort will not know what hit him.
> 
> Then I can get to actual fun plot because I hate writing around that snakefaced bastard. Some time I want to write something either after his defeat or where he's completely irrelevant to the plot.
> 
> Guesses (and suggestions) for the plot-device capsules are welcome. Also, I plan on having two more characters in Harry's little group. Surprisingly without (conventional) time fuckery. Have fun with guesses. Also, I might include one more after that, but I'm still not sure about that.


	3. To Foil a Ferret's Plans

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) Thanks for the reviews, follows, and favorites! They sustain me.
> 
> You all have no idea how tempting it is to just use DBZ Abridged-style dialogue the whole time.
> 
> Also, because most dates for year six aren't as set in stone as they are for most other years, this starts at the beginning of the month of December. Because I said so.
> 
> I've also decided that in addition to the two others I'm already adding to the harem that two further will be added. Sirius will be so proud of Harry.
> 
> All of them will be from the Dragon Ball universe too, as a hint.
> 
> Also, Hyperbolic Time Chamber to learn more magic over Christmas break, yay or nay?

21 stared down at her and Buu's fainted host with concern amongst the chaos in the kitchen. The little creatures around them were panicking and arguing amongst themselves, the one with the tower of hats being the most distraught. She turned to Buu with a frown, "What the _hell_ did you say to him, Buu?!"

"Buu only teasing! Buu heard Dobby call Harry 'Great Master Harry Potter, sir,' so Buu wanted to see how it felt saying! It felt good, but Buu thought he just be flustered!" the Majin protested vehemently, pointing at the one with the tower of hats.

"Ugh, well, you're the one who speaks their language now! Calm them down or something!" she replied with exasperation. Thankfully, some of the creatures from before were just now coming around with plates of food, so she could have something to fill her somersaulting stomach.

Buu pouted at being left out of the meal, so she immediately turned to Dobby and spoke in English once more, "Can Dobby wake Harry up for Buu?"

The small green being nodded his head rapidly, causing his bat-like ears to flap humorously and the tower of hats to wobble dangerously, "Oh yes, Misses Pinkie Buu, Dobby get cold water for Great Master Harry Potter, sir."

Rather than move, Dobby instead grabbed a passing pewter pitcher that was clearly full of a chilled liquid according to the condensation on the outside. However, due to Harry's suddenly fading Felix Felicis, it was pumpkin juice rather than water. The house elf who had been carrying it didn't even have time to protest before the orange, sugary liquid was splashed over the wizard's face.

The added spices and sugar to make the winter squashes' juice palatable really stung going into (or out of in some cases) one's nose. So, while the cold liquid did wake Harry Potter up, it was with an aggrieved and watery eye at the house elf responsible while coughing and rubbing at his nose.

"Bloody hell, Dobby! Was that necessary?! If you have to do that, use bleeding water next time!" he angrily spluttered out. His mind suddenly whirred into action, remembering what had made him faint in the first place. His face lit up in a deep blush as he slowly glanced over at the simultaneously amused and apologetic-looking Buu.

She stood up, walked over to him, and pulled him into a tight hug, ignoring the sticky liquid. Then she gave him a kiss on the cheek and said, "Buu sorry. Buu only wanted to play joke."

"It's alright, Buu. I was just kind of overwhelmed by what's happened today. You…Uh, doing what you did to Malfoy and then suddenly speaking English was… _very_ unexpected," Harry said, patting Buu on the back. He noticed her smacking her lips, she turned to him, and gave him a lick (with a weirdly long tongue) to taste more of the juice. "…So was that. It's pumpkin juice, Buu. All you need to do to get more is ask."

"Mmm, tasty. Buu would like more, yes!" she said, clapping her hands together once with a beaming smile. The house elves ushered her back to her seat where a filled plate of a full English breakfast waited then they scrambled to fill up a glass with pumpkin juice for her. Diamond was already eating her breakfast with gusto.

Harry turned to see Dobby staring at him, looking crestfallen and ashamed. He sighed, "It's alright, Dobby. I know you were trying to help. We're still friends."

That cheered the elf up immensely and the green-eyed wizard found himself being helped up then escorted to the table next to Buu and Diamond. A plate of eclairs and a cup of steaming hot tea was placed in front of him. Before he dug in, he cast a couple Scourgify charms on himself to clean off the drying, sticky pumpkin juice.

"Great Master Harry Potter, sir, what did Misses Pinkie Buu do to bad former master's stupid spawn?" Dobby asked curiously, causing Harry to choke briefly on his bite of eclair. A snap of the house elf's fingers cleared his airway.

He looked around furtively, seeing that the other house elves were busying themselves with other things. He leaned in and whispered the events that had transpired outside the kitchens to the house elf, warning him to stay quiet.

The house elf cheered and clapped excitedly, jumping up and down at the feeling of justice, "Great Mistress Misses Pinkie Buu, ma'am, be putting bad former master's stupid spawn in his place! If there bes anything you needs, please to be calling Dobby!"

Buu giggled at the excitable creature and nodded her head quickly, her mouth full of her breakfast. She swallowed and gasped in awe when the plate refilled itself, immediately digging in again. Dobby bowed low and scampered off to assist what appeared to be a recovering Winky with the dishes. The former Crouch house elf seemed to be recovering from her bout of depression nicely.

Diamond's tail swooped in to snag an eclair off of his plate while she drank from her goblet of pumpkin juice. She cleared her throat and hissed, §Now that all that's done with, when can you leave this place to find and use the spheres?§

Some of the nearby house elves gave the table a wide berth at the hissing, but he tapped his chin in thought before replying, §The cold season is coming and this…Ah, there's no word for it. Of course not, snakes have no dens of learning. This den of learning will allow the hatchlings within to go be with their progenitors. I have many obligations here as a learner, including new lessons with the short teacher.§

She nodded thoughtfully, taking a large bite of the eclair in her tail's grip. Looking down at the tracker she'd set on the table, her voice was quiet when she asked, §When did the ones you dream of die? I'm certain they can be brought back to life, but it'll be easier if it was within two hundred and eight moons.§

Harry took a fortifying gulp of tea at her question. That proved it; they had seen everything he'd been dreaming like he suspected. His hands shook slightly, but they didn't seem to disapprove at least.

And what an odd way snakes had of saying dates, though he supposed the lack of calendars would make telling the passage of time difficult. He did the math in his head, two hundred and eight moons sounded like fifty two weeks and that'd make it one whole year.

§My…male progenitor's denmate was hunted less than one hundred moons ago. The other two-leg hit with the green light of death was over four hundred moons ago. There have been others too recently. Could they be brought back as well?§ the green-eyed wizard asked hopefully. His heart soared at Diamond's smiling nod.

§It will take the overgrown lizard time to build its power back up after three wishes, but it can bring multiple two-legs back to life at once if they had a common cause of death,§ Diamond explained, her tail stealing another eclair after finishing the first.

Buu suddenly gasped and looked angry, turning to him, "Buu finished taking information from blonde idiot! Blonde idiot trying to bring evil wizards into Hogwarts to make headmaster dead! And blonde idiot has evil snake man's mark on his arm. Blonde idiot tortured and killed non-magic girl to get it. Greasy man helped him with evil snake man's task and keeps offering to help him with bringing evil wizards into Hogwarts."

Instantly, Harry's good mood dropped and he jumped to his feet, Diamond looking rather alarmed at the sudden change, "What?! How?! I knew the ferret was up to _something_! I _knew_ he was a bloody Death Eater! _And Snape! That greasy git!_ "

§Harry? What's going on?§ she asked. He hissed back to tell her to wait a moment and then looked back at Buu.

"Blonde idiot was fixing something called a vanishing cabinet on the seventh floor in the form-changing room where Harry was teaching defense. Buu can take Harry there. Buu's done eating and Buu thinks baby sister's done too," the short pink woman said with a confident smile. She was picking English up nicely, though it was still a little house elf-y.

' _Oh, Merlin, she calls Diamond her baby sister, that's so damn adorable,_ ' Harry thought with a small smile before turning serious once more.

"Explain it to Diamond for me, Buu, it'll be faster. I think we'll keep Malfoy where he is until we can summon that dragon she was telling me about. I just had an idea for a wish. I'm tired of these pureblood supremacy morons abusing magic and getting away with it," he explained, a nasty idea forming in his head and hoping it was possible. "Oh and keep your English a secret for now. I'd rather not have to explain how you learned so quickly."

Harry led the two women out of the kitchens, waving off the elves trying to stuff treats into his pockets. He had a mission now. His two companions, however, apparently wanted more of the sweeter treats on offer, so they filled their arms with them. He pulled out the Marauder's Map to lead them around easier and avoid as many people as possible. He wasn't in any kind of mood to be answering constant questions.

On the way up, in between snacks, Buu explained to him that Malfoy had been trying to fix the cabinet while keeping his idiot bodyguards, Crabbe and Goyle, on lookout duty. He asked why he hadn't seen them anywhere and she explained that they'd used Polyjuice Potion that had been stolen from Professor Slughorn to disguise the troll-like Slytherins.

Speaking of, he hadn't checked the map as often as he should have when he ran into the rotund potions professor on the way out of a fifth floor secret passage, scaring him in the process.

"Sweet Merlin, Harry! I think we need to put a bell on you, young man," Professor Slughorn scolded playfully, wagging his finger with a wink. His gooseberry eyes fell on the two pink women following his newest favorite student. "O-ho! It's a good thing I _just_ came out of meeting Minerva or else I wouldn't have been warned of your companions. Jolly good show, Harry! A new magical species and you've found two specimens! You'll be the talk of the Being Division at the Ministry for ages!"

"I…Thank you, professor," the green-eyed wizard replied, hoping that by appeasing the man he could get on with his task without seeming rude.

"My boy, if you need assistance in registering their species as beings instead of beasts, do let me know. I have a few contacts there and it would expedite the process!" his teacher said helpfully.

"Oh! Uh, yes, please, professor! That would actually be a tremendous help," he replied, surprised at the actual usefulness of the help being offered.

"Terrific, terrific, my boy! I'll invite a few of my contacts to my party on the twentieth to get the ball rolling! So long as you attend, of course!" beamed the rotund man. At Harry's nod, his smile brightened. "Wonderful, wonderful! I'll see you there!"

A sudden inspiration struck him when Professor Slughorn nodded respectfully to the women and moved to leave, "Oh, professor, I have something to ask you if it's not too much trouble."

"Oh? Of course, ask away, dear boy!" he said, stopping in his tracks with an expectant look.

"Well, I'm sure you know by now that I'm a Parselmouth," Harry started. His professor acknowledged his statement and motioned for him to continue. "I know you prefer it to be quiet when we're brewing, but I was wondering if I might be allowed to speak Parseltongue while brewing if I put up a privacy spell."

"Oh? For what reason, dear boy? Does your companion who speaks the language know potions?" Professor Slughorn asked excitedly.

"No, sir, nothing like that. I was talking to the portrait of Merlin in the third floor armory and he told me that Salazar Slytherin used to do it when he brewed. According to him, Parseltongue can improve potions and I'd like to try it out in a safe environment. Even if you couldn't hear me, I could get your attention if something goes wrong," he explained.

"Really? My, my. That sounds very interesting, Harry. I might have to take you up on that. Yes, yes, next time we brew, feel free and I'll keep a close eye on your progress!" his professor said, still beaming. He then bid farewell to the younger wizard and left.

' _That was surprisingly painless. Maybe Professor Slughorn isn't that bad after all,_ ' Harry thought, motioning for the two women to continue following him. He expected to be in the man's debt, but he could handle that. Maybe some crystalized pineapple would appease the man.

Thankfully, Buu had been translating to Diamond the whole time, so they could keep moving, hopefully without any more delays. When they finally reached the seventh floor, Buu stepped forward and performed the task of walking back and forth to summon the room. He smiled excitedly when the door appeared.

"Good job, Buu," Harry said with a smile. A sudden inspiration struck him and his smile turned wolfish. "Tell me, is Malfoy aware of what we're doing?"

She giggled delightedly at the praise and nodded enthusiastically, "Yep! Blonde idiot is raging and crying over this."

"…Crying?" he asked, raising an eyebrow while he reached for the doorknob. He hadn't expected that.

Buu closed her eyes for a moment, humming before speaking once more, "Yep. He's saying that evil snake man he's too scared to name will kill his parents if he messes this up."

His hand hovered over the doorknob to the room, indecision suddenly striking. A brief moment passed before he realized that if Malfoy let Death Eaters into the castle to kill Professor Dumbledore, they certainly wouldn't stop there.

"Let's see. A Death Eater's parents, at least one of whom is a Death Eater or a school full of innocent students, my friends, and Professor Dumbledore. Decisions, decisions…" Harry said sarcastically. "Gee, I wonder, such a tough choice to make."

He opened the door with a flourish, stepping aside to let Buu lead the way. She skipped merrily into the room with him and Diamond following closely behind.

Immediately, the green-eyed wizard was awestruck at the sheer size and scope of the room, mountains of lost or abandoned items everywhere.

§Is this some sort of magic lost and found?§ hissed Diamond with amusement, her eyes scanning the room.

§Lost, yes. Found, debatable,§ he hissed back, following the shorter pink woman while she purposefully weaved her way through the objects scattering the room. §So many places I have to explore before leaving this den of learning. At daybreak, I'll show you two where I fought for my life against the King of Serpents. There is something I must hunt there.§

§Really? Didn't you say it could kill with a glance? And that it had deadly venom? How did you survive?§ she asked curiously. The way that "King of Serpents" came out in Parseltongue was rather reverent and spoke of a large, nearly indestructible creature. That he could've killed one was astonishing for a human who didn't know of ki. Perhaps she'd have to teach him.

§An immortal firebird came and pecked out the King's eyes to rid it of the killing gaze. I stabbed her through the mouth into her brain with sharp metal. I was envenomed in the process and the immortal firebird cured the venom with its tears,§ Harry hissed, rolling up his right sleeve to show her the puncture scar on both sides of the crook of his elbow. The edges were still a necrotic black and the veins around it were still very prominent after all these years.

"Vanishing cabinet right here! What we do with it?" Buu chirped, suddenly stopping in the aisle and beaming back at him.

The green-eyed wizard eyed clearly broken vanishing cabinet in mid-repair and the muggle tools next to it. If Malfoy was having to go about fixing it in a muggle way, then magic would surely be bad for it. He smiled slowly and took aim with his wand.

Unexpectedly, Buu took one look at his wand and panicked, grabbing his arm and pulling it down, "No! Magic bad!"

"That's the point, Buu. We want to destroy it, right?" he asked, his eyes widening at being completely unable to budge her grip. She was deceptively strong, it seemed.

The red-eyed woman shook her head rapidly, "Not like that! Magic cause backlash and explode into deadly pointy bits. Buu and baby sister be fine, but Harry would get hurt!"

"…Oh. Then how do we destroy it?" Harry asked, touched that she was protecting him even if it was from his tendency to make knee-jerk decisions. Buu suddenly smiled almost devilishly and giggled something out to Diamond.

The taller pink woman looked surprised at first, but then her smile matched Buu's. She practically sashayed over to the cabinet, bent over at the waist with her tail high in the air, placed a hand under the bottom of it, and then when she straightened back up, picked it up as though it were a paperweight.

' _I regret telling Hermione I wanted the awe back in magic. Can I take that back now? This is too much,_ ' he thought, staring wide-eyed at the casual display of strength. However, that didn't stop him from taking a mental picture of the woman's baggy pants giving the barest glimpse of her heart-shaped behind when she'd bent over. ' _Nice arse, though._ '

Diamond winked at him and Buu before placing two fingers from her free hand to her forehead. A second later, she disappeared, along with the cabinet.

His jaw dropped. After all, Hermione had basically drilled it into his head that apparition was impossible to and from Hogwarts.

Then again, house elves did it all the time, but at the same time, that was an odd stance to take for apparition. So, maybe it wasn't?

"What…What did she just do? How did she do that?" Harry asked, only to receive an enigmatic smile from Buu. Another second later and Diamond reappeared in the same spot she'd just vacated, only without the cabinet and with a triumphant expression.

§The wood and glass box is destroyed,§ she hissed proudly.

§I feel like I'm not going to like the answer of "how?" so I'll refrain from asking. Instead, what did you just do and could I learn that?§ he hissed hopefully. She faux-pouted at his refusal to ask about the cabinet.

§I'll only tell you if you let me tell you how I did it,§ Diamond crossed her arms with a playfully stubborn look.

As though she picked up on the pretext of the conversation, Buu suddenly called out to the other woman, an excited and beaming look on her face. The icy blue-eyed woman looked somewhat hesitant, but accepting of whatever was being discussed when she moved closer to the two of them.

He tried to take a reflexive step back, but he was still being held tight by the short pink woman who just giggled at his predicament. Just what were they planning? A tug on his arm brought his attention to her.

"Buu and baby sister do good stopping evil plan, yes?" the red-eyed woman asked with mischief and something else he couldn't quite identify in her eyes.

"Y-yes? You've both done amazing work keeping Hogwarts safe," Harry said, his mind suddenly and unwillingly thinking of the erotic dreams he'd been having of these exact women. And at that exact moment, he identified the desire in Buu's eyes.

"Good! Buu think we need a reward!" she exclaimed with a broad smile. Without warning, her free hand grabbed his collar and pulled him down face to face with her, her strength still surprising. "Buu first, then baby sister."

Without waiting for an answer, her full, soft lips pressed against Harry's in an inexperienced, but passionate and enthusiastic kiss. While taken by surprise, it was extremely pleasant, so he quickly found himself returning the kiss with gusto. It was also good to know that Cho Chang and her waterworks during his first kiss hadn't completely ruined the experience for him.

She squealed excitedly into his mouth at the reciprocation. A sweet taste rocked his taste buds when her tongue pushed its way into his mouth and began to caress his own before exploring every nook and crevice of his mouth. She let out a pleased murmur when his tongue followed hers back into her mouth. Unlike her sister, while her canines were sharp, they weren't quite fangs from what he could feel.

A brief eternity later and they broke the kiss, both panting heavily with a thin line of their mingled drool connecting their tongues. At least until Buu licked her tingling lips slowly and reverently.

He couldn't help but smile dumbly, "Whoa, if that's a reward for you, then what's a reward for me?"

Buu giggled gleefully, letting go of his collar, "You'll see. Now, baby sister's turn."

' _I was not ready for today, but I'd definitely do it again,_ ' Harry thought when he glanced over at Diamond, who was staring at the two of them wide-eyed and panting softly. It was certainly interesting (and kind of cute) to see a deep red blush on her pretty pink face.

As soon as he straightened up, she stepped closer and placed her hands on his cheeks. Once again, he found a pair of full, soft lips pressed against his own tingling pair. Her kiss was much more chaste, but no less enthusiastic than Buu's. He smiled against her mouth; after all the rotten luck in his life, it was finally starting to turn around.

As if to disabuse him of that notion, the sound of Professor McGonagall's voice echoed throughout the school, causing him to break the kiss while thinking she'd somehow found him, "Students, return to your common rooms immediately! Representatives of the Department of Magical Law Enforcement will be with you shortly."

Inwardly, he briefly panicked while Diamond pouted at having her reward cut short. Had someone already figured out what happened to Malfoy? There was no way.

"Oooh, Buu forgot to say. Blonde idiot had pretty lady from Three Broomsticks under mind control. Buu think it broke when Buu turned blonde idiot into chocolate. Pretty lady might have called aurors over it," Buu said helpfully.

"Err, right. Well, we should get going, then. Hopefully you two are ready to be gawked at," Harry said resignedly, unhappy at the prospect already rearing its ugly head. He'd hoped to be able to keep avoiding people until he'd worked out a plan to introduce the two women to the school at large.

* * *

_**At Borgin and Burkes minutes earlier…** _

"The Dark Lord is getting impatient, Borgin. He wants those cursed daggers in his hands _yesterday_ ," growled Fenrir Greyback, Britain's most infamous werewolf. The feral-looking and hairy man was commonly used by Voldemort to intimidate anyone and everyone. Flanking him were two masked Death Eaters.

"Don't you think I know that, Greyback? I can't make the owls move faster, now can I? He'll have them as soon as I get them. I know my obligations," replied the oily Borgin, both in voice and hair. He was already piling dark objects up on the counter to appease the Dark Lord and reviewing the status reports from the Malfoy brat.

The repairs were slow-going because they had to correspond in code and through intermediaries, but the brat seemed to have a handle on the situation. A glance at the cabinet, however, told him a different story.

"Oh, shit," was all Borgin could get out when he saw that the cabinet was glowing white hot. He didn't even have time to reach for his wand when the cabinet exploded into a giant fireball hotter than even Fiendfyre. Antonin Dolohov, Walden Mcnair, Fenrir Greyback, Borgin, and the entire stock of his shop were carbonized instantly, the wizards identified later only by their lingering magical signatures.

The anti-fire wards of the shop were able to keep most of the heat contained within, mainly because the fireball was non-magical in nature.

The fireball lasted only a brief second and its origin completely baffled the auror investigators. As did the lingering traces of hydrogen, helium, and neon in the air.

* * *

§The sun?! You threw the wood and glass box into the sun?!§ Harry hissed, completely dumbfounded at Diamond's reveal on their way to the Gryffindor Common Room. He briefly wondered how the magic in the cabinet would react with the sun. §You know, that's not a bad idea if my plan for my enemies doesn't work out. Just throw them into the sun.§

§Oh? What plan?§ she hissed back curiously.

§When you said that the overgrown lizard grants wishes, I had an idea. I'll wait until my teacher finds a two-leg with a spell that can teach you to understand my language to explain,§ he hissed. As they neared their destination, they were beginning to be noticed by the other Hogwarts students. §They're starting to notice you two. Just as a warning, these two-legs don't like the language of snakes.§

§That's their problem, not mine,§ Diamond hissed, waving her hand dismissively.

"Oi, Harry! What's with the fit birds, mate?" called Seamus Finnegan, a fellow sixth year Gryffindor when he caught up to the dark-haired wizard.

"New magical species, Seamus. Found them in Hogwarts, actually. They don't speak English yet though," Harry explained, looking at Buu out of the corner of his eye. An almost imperceptible nod made him smile internally at her catching his hint.

"Really? Bloody hell, mate, you keep surprising us year after year with this shite. What are you going to do next year? Bring Merlin himself back from the dead?" replied the Irish wizard, too busy eying the women appreciatively to notice the smirk on his fellow Gryffindor's face. "So, wait, if they don't speak English, then what do they speak?"

"Both of them speak Japanese, but Diamond," he motioned to the taller woman who looked over at the mention of her name, "speaks Parseltongue. So, I talk to her, she translates to Buu," a motion to the shorter woman elicited an enthusiastic wave, "and back. It's a bit weird, though. Some words and concepts don't translate well to Parseltongue."

The other wizard looked a bit queasy at the mention of the language of snakes, but shrugged, "Well, if that's how it works, then it works, I guess. You know Ron's probably going to freak out over it, though."

"He can get over it. Professor McGonagall said that I'm responsible for them, so I have to communicate with them somehow. And like hell am I playing charades all day," Harry scoffed, earning a jovial laugh from Seamus. After they'd worked out their differences from last year, he wouldn't exactly count Seamus as a friend, but at least he was friendly instead of vitriolic.

"So, what do you think this lockdown's about?" asked the Irish wizard.

"No idea," he lied. "Better not be another basilisk, though. I don't fancy another round with one of those."

When they reached the Fat Lady's portrait, it was already open with Professor McGonagall and "Call Me Nymphadora and You'll Lose Your Bollocks" Tonks standing nearby, presumably counting heads. The Auror and Order member's eyes widened at the sight of Buu and Diamond, quickly conferring with the Gryffindor head of house. After a brief conversation, she bounded over, looking a little more cheerful than her sullen appearances before today.

"Wotcher, Harry, Minnie tells me you found something this morning. Well, more than one something," Tonks said, still looking the women over.

"Yeah?" he said cautiously. Seamus had already gone through the portrait, leaving himself, his professor, and the auror the last ones through at the moment.

"You jammy little sod, I can't believe you found the last vault! I take it the birds were in there in some sort of enchanted sleep?" she asked, a brief glimmer of her previously bubbly personality peeking through. "How'd you get around the curse on the vault?"

"Yeah, kind of. And it was apparently Salazar Slytherin's vault, so Parseltongue got me in and out without any trouble. Hermione got in too when I escorted her in," Harry explained.

"Bloody hell, you've _got_ to show me too! Before you came to Hogwarts, I was a part of a group that was looking for the bloody things!" she said, escorting him to the portrait.

"Sure, maybe next weekend after I meet with Professor Flitwick?" Harry suggested.

"Righto, now get your pasty arse in there. This is somewhat important," Tonks said, playfully shoving him to the portrait hole. Her hair shifted briefly from its mousy brown to a muted pink then back again.

Diamond gasped at the shifting before smacking herself in the forehead as though she'd forgotten something. Their attention turned to the tall pink woman at the sound. She barked out something to Buu before concentrating. The air shimmered around herself briefly and her appearance rapidly shifted.

Before where stood a tall, pink, otherworldly, and curvaceous woman with a tail was now a tall, tailless, and curvaceous pale woman with auburn hair in the same messy style as her white hair. She now wore a blue and red checkerboard-like patterned short dress, black leggings, red and blue heel boots, a white lab coat with the double C symbol he'd seen on the computer above the left breast pocket, and a pair of horn rimmed glasses over her icy blue eyes.

The short pink woman took the opportunity to perform a similar change, though without changing her attire. Her skin turned from a bright pink to a tanned bronze and her hair turned from pure white to match the auburn hair of her sister's. Her eyes also changed from black sclera and red irises to a normal white and sapphire blue.

The witches and wizard goggled at the changes momentarily before Professor McGonagall cleared her throat, "Well, that certainly allays a concern I had about these two ladies breaking the Statute of Secrecy, I suppose. Well, in you go, Mr. Potter."

§Why didn't you tell me you could do that?§ Harry asked while he gestured for Diamond and Buu to enter first.

§Well, I kind of forgot I could. I was used to being in my true form around my denmates. I only did this to reduce the staring you said we'd experience,§ she hissed back, climbing through the portrait hole first and followed by Buu then him.

"Bloody hell, they're metamorphs too," Tonks said weakly, still staring at the strange women while they entered the Gryffindor Common Room. She cast a furtive look at the younger wizard's back while he passed through the portrait hole. She whispered to her former Transfiguration professor, "Five galleons says the next generation of Potters is half-human."

Professor McGonagall snorted and followed her student in, whispering back, "Five says half Weasley."

Once he was inside, Harry growled under his breath at the eyes glued to himself and his companions while he led them over to Hermione. He tuned out the speculations, which ranged from reasonable to absurd. Bodyguards weren't out of the question since he'd seen how strong Diamond and possibly Buu by extension were. But muggles? The aliens one was amusing given that the taller woman had described slug people from space.

"Harry? What happened to Diamond and Buu?" Hermione whispered to him.

"Hermione, you wouldn't believe me if I told you the time I've had after you stayed with Professor Flitwick. Anyway, now's not the time. Now's the time for 'I bloody told you so'," Harry said somewhat smugly. Her confused and affronted look persisted until Professor McGonagall and Tonks called attention to themselves.

"Wotcher, Gryffindor House! Under my authority as an auror, be on the lookout for this twitchy little ferret," announced Tonks, ignoring the professor's stern look while she floated up and enlarged a picture of Draco Malfoy. "Wanted for questioning in the cursing of Katie Bell, Imperiusing Madam Rosmerta, and being a suspected Death Eater.

"Normally, I wouldn't be able to reveal as much, but the Daily Prophet's printing all this anyway, so we're hoping to apprehend him before he scarpers. I know you lot probably all see him as weak and ineffective, but I must insist that you do _not_ take matters into your own hands. Let the aurors do their jobs if he remains at large after this! If you have any information that will lead to his arrest, please come forward. Any questions?"

While the other Gryffindors yelled out their questions, Hermione used the distraction to whisper to the dark-haired wizard again, "I…I'm sorry for not believing you, Harry. But…How exactly did you know?"

"The twitchy way he was acting, bragging about his job from Voldemort, probably showing his Dark Mark to Borgin. Pick any of those, Hermione. It was easy to put together even if you didn't want to believe it," he whispered back.

"…I understand that now, Harry, but what I meant was: how did you know that this was what this lockdown was about?" she asked urgently.

Harry looked at her with a stunned expression. His best friend and sister in all but name was really too bloody observant. He whispered back, "I'll tell you, but only if you don't freak out. I also need your help with something at the same time. I'm going to end this war as soon as I can. My way, not Professor Dumbledore's."

"I…If you think it'll work, Harry, I trust you. I'll help you any way I can, you know that," Hermione whispered back loyally. "If you think Professor Dumbledore will object…I…" she swallowed, "I won't tell him as long as you stay safe."

She then turned to regard Diamond, even reaching out to grab the woman's lab coat and feel of it, "Where did you even find a lab coat in Hogwarts?!"

"She, uh…She just changed from what she looked like before into what she looks like now. She and Buu have been breaking my brain all morning," he grumbled. Out of the corner of his eye, he saw Ginny glaring over at them around the crowd of Gryffindors separating them. His ears tuned back into whatever Professor McGonagall was saying at the sound of his name, which may have explained why the redhead was glaring. Strangely, Ron was glaring over at him too, his ears rapidly turning red.

"…keep in mind, as I said, that currently only Mr. Potter can communicate with them. We are searching for an interpreter who can cast the appropriate charms to let them understand English. Treat them as you would any guest in Hogwarts," she finished. Oh, that's why. She probably mentioned Parseltongue. "Oh, and Mr. Potter? Could you please come to me?"

He shot Hermione a worried look, but asked her to keep Diamond and Buu company, motioning for them to stay where they were. The crowd was dispersing, so the meeting must be considered over and he easily made his way over to his professor.

Professor McGonagall waved her wand and the sound around them was drowned out. When she spoke, it was in a low, apologetic tone, "I must apologize for not taking you seriously before, Harry."

His eyebrows shot up into his hairline at her words, so she continued, "I am constantly reminded that even if you are rather hotheaded, you are not very prone to flights of fancy. The Philosopher's Stone, the basilisk, He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named, Umbridge and her detentions, and now Draco Malfoy being a Death Eater. I have consistently failed you and I deeply apologize for that."

The look on her face was of deep regret, so Harry stuttered out, "I-it's alright, professor. I admit that those all sounded kind of…out there and I didn't do a good job of convincing you."

"Be that as it may, I'm just as guilty as Severus for seeing you as your father, though not in a negative way. Mostly. If you need any help at all in the future, I'll endeavor to give you the benefit of the doubt, though I'll understand if you feel you can't come to me with your concerns. I never imagined that Mr. Malfoy would be capable of maintaining the Imperius Curse, so the thought never crossed my mind," Professor McGonagall explained, giving his shoulder a soft, friendly squeeze.

"I'll. I'll keep that in mind, professor. Thank you," he said sincerely. She nodded with a teary smile and dismissed her privacy charms to walk away after gathering herself. A frown crossed his face when he saw Ron accosting Hermione.

With the privacy charms dismissed, he could clearly hear the redhead maintaining his record of putting his foot in his mouth, louder with each step he took toward them.

"…dark creatures! It's obvious they are! The tall one is even a Parselmouth, that's proof enough!" Ron was saying.

"Care to repeat that where I can hear you, Ronald? I thought we'd established that Parselmouths aren't inherently evil," Harry growled dangerously.

The clear warning was evidently ignored because his freckled face twisted into the stubborn expression he commonly had whenever his beliefs were challenged, "No, we established that despite being a Parselmouth, you're an alright bloke! It's a dark ability, snakes are evil, and you're bonkers if you think otherwise!"

"Prove it then, Ronald. 'Snakes are evil'? Aside from ones tainted by Voldemort," the dark haired wizard stated, waiting for the violent flinch to end, "and his evil, I've yet to meet a snake I didn't like."

"What do you mean, prove it? You said so yourself! You-Know-Who and his snakes are evil!" was the stubborn reply.

"And so's my Aunt Marge's dogs. They're ill-mannered, aggressive, and bite anyone at the drop of a hat. Are all dogs evil because of a few bad eggs?" he asked.

"Yeah, but when snakes bite, it kills people!" Ron said.

"Actually, Ronald, not all snakes are venomous and even some of the venomous ones won't result in fatal bites," Hermione piped up, still looking rather teary-eyed from the earlier berating.

"Tell me, Ron. Are lions evil?" Harry suddenly asked.

"What? No. Why would they be?" the redhead looked confused.

"So, how would you like to spend time in a cage with one? Obviously, it's not evil, so you won't be hurt at all, _right?_ " the green-eyed wizard asked with a smirk.

The shade of red on Ron's ears deepened and his face turned just as red, a sure danger sign. However, instead of the fist flying at his face like he'd predicted, the redhead seemed to remember that their Head of House was there, so he chose to walk away growling invectives and threats under his breath.

Before he could go back to talking with Hermione and possibly the two women with them, a flowery scent filled his nostrils. Strangely, he also smelled ashwinder eggs, rose petals which made up the majority of the flowery scent, and pearl dust. His ring warmed to inform him that his subconscious felt it was a dangerous combination.

"Sorry about Ron, Harry. He's always a prat when it comes to anything to do with snakes," Ginny's voice cut through his thoughts. She patted his arm gently and smiled in a way that, before this morning, would've stirred up butterflies in his stomach. But now that he was wary, it actually kind of repulsed him. He raised an eyebrow when she walked away, actually moving her hips in a slightly more exaggerated way than usual.

"Hermione?" Harry whispered, narrowing his eyes at Ginny's retreating form.

His brown haired friend sniffed and wiped her eyes to clear away the tears that Ron had caused, not even noticing the byplay, "Yes, Harry?"

"Ashwinder eggs, rose petals, and pearl dust. What would that combination make?" he asked warily. She gasped softly, remembering that he said that his ring let him smell potion ingredients.

"A love potion," she responded, suddenly staring at Ginny's back as well.

"And if that were put into a perfume, what would that do?" he asked.

"It'd be a muted effect for sure, but if it were applied over…time…" Hermione suddenly looked at her friend with worry. "You don't think she's…?"

"No, I _know_ she's doing it. That settles it for me, any Weasleys younger than Gred and Forge are poisonous. And I'll be reading them the bloody riot act about selling bloody love potions to Hogwarts students," he growled. As if to prove his point, Romilda Vane practically strutted over, carrying a goblet and a box.

"Heya, Harry! Fancy a gillywater?" she asked obliviously. The nerve to do this with their Head of House in the bloody room! And an auror too, to boot! Or was she just stupid?

A sudden smile snaked its way onto his face, motioning to Hermione to stay quiet, "Sure thing, Romilda. What else have you got there?"

She beamed at him and held out the box of Cauldron Cakes, "My gran sent me these the other day. They've got Firewhiskey in them and I don't like them that much. You can have them if you want."

"Why, thank you very much, Romilda. I know just what to do with all this," he said, taking the box from her grip before she could reconsider. Without a beat, he walked over to Tonks to the girl's horror and got her attention. "Tonks, would you be so kind as to identify any foreign materials in these for me?"

"Sure thing, Harry!" the auror said, already waving her wand over the gillywater and the cakes. Her expression turned from genial to thunderous immediately. Love potions weren't expressly illegal, but this was one of her distant family members and most importantly, one of her friends! Good thing they were banned at Hogwarts. "I'm teaching you how to do this later, Harry, but for now, point at me to the little skank who tried to potion you… _Minnie!_ "

He pointed her to the fourth year girl who gave the items to him. They were taken from him and both the auror and his Head of House descended upon to the now-sobbing girl.

Harry strolled back over to Hermione with a satisfied smile and said, "Never a dull moment, huh, Hermione?"

* * *

Once they were let out of the common rooms, the search for Draco Malfoy began with vigor, but Harry knew they'd never find him. Not until his plan was enacted.

With Diamond, Buu, and Hermione in tow, he managed to give his fellow Gryffindors the slip, away from their curious and probing questions. A few hidden passageways later found them in an abandoned classroom.

Hermione warded the door shut while Harry hissed out a Parseltongue version of the _Muffliato_ charm he'd found in the Half-Blood Prince's Potions Book. She crossed her arms and tapped her foot expectantly.

"Right, so. I need your absolute trust and your word that nothing we discuss here in this room crosses _anyone's_ ears. None of the professors, not the headmaster, not even your own parents, Hermione. I'm taking a huge chance just telling you at all," he said. "Incidentally, avoid eye contact with Snape"

" _Profess—_ " she started, only to be silenced by him holding up his hand.

"That greasy git was _trying to help_ Malfoy. He helped Malfoy take the Dark Mark. He's _playing_ the Order, Hermione. I'm done listening to Professor Dumbledore say he trusts Snape, only for the bastard to get more innocents killed. I wouldn't put it past him to have goaded Sirius into leaving Grimmauld Place in June," the green-eyed wizard growled out, unaware that his magic was leaking out in his anger.

Hermione gulped audibly at the sheer magical strength her friend was drowning the room in. Forcibly, she was reminded of the prophecy he had to fulfill and despite her misgivings, she _knew_ now he'd be able to do it. If he was this powerful now, what happened when his magic fully matured when he came of age?

"A-alright, Harry. Please tell me how you know this. I want to help you," she shakily said.

The fear he heard in his friend's voice made him reign in his emotions and thus, his magic. He took a deep breath to calm himself.

"Right, the first thing you need to know is that Malfoy is still alive. That's the most important part and what I hope will keep you from running off," Harry said slowly. Her wide-eyed look made him clarify. "He's more or less unharmed as well. I imagine it couldn't have been pleasant, but still."

"Alright, so what happened?" Hermione asked, sounding a little impatient.

"Buu turn blonde idiot into chocolate and eat him! Blonde idiot still alive in Buu and Buu take blonde idiot's knowledge! Buu can spit blonde idiot out at any time, but Buu wait for Harry to tell Buu to!" the short now-tanned woman said happily.

The green-eyed wizard moved swiftly before Buu finished speaking, immediately catching the brown-haired witch when she fell into a dead faint after her mind processed the information.

"…Something Buu say? This happens a lot to Buu," Buu said with an adorable pout on her face.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) It occured to me after writing the last chapter that if Malfoy was eaten, his Imperius would more than likely break and Rosmerta would be pissed about it.
> 
> No, Snape is not different from canon, he's just trying to maintain his cover, but Harry doesn't know that nor will he accept it. This Harry is being nudged by his new ring into being a bit more pragmatic and using the cunning that the Sorting Hat had seen in him. Just a nudge to make him think harder and come up with better conclusions for situations he finds himself in.
> 
> Book Six Harry always struck me as a fucking moron, holding onto the Idiot Ball the entire book about Malfoy. Same for Hermione, she shouldn't have been so stubborn about it. Voldemort is a MONSTER. Of course he'd use a sixteen year old to do his dirty work!
> 
> Actually, most of the Book Six good guys struck me as holding firmly onto the Idiot Ball. McGonagall was one, as evidenced by her apology. Harry once again tells her credible information about Katie Bell being cursed and she just says "nope, not possible", Imperius curse be damned.
> 
> Buu transforming herself to look more human was something 21/Diamond suggested. Though she preferred the clothes she was wearing, so…
> 
> Also, as a heads up, I'm still working out scenes for the two weeks leading up to the Sports Festival in Midnight's Godson, so that's coming eventually for those interested.


	4. Several Learning Experiences

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) Thanks for the reviews, favorites, and follows!
> 
> I forgot to mention last time that I've got a poll up on my FFNet profile that I'll keep up for a good while.
> 
> And when I first started writing this, I had plans for the language barrier that existed between Android 21 and Buu with Harry and Hermione. Unfortunately, I didn't write them down and just plain forgot them.
> 
> And I imagine the plans weren't even that good to begin with. Also, remember that Dumbledore's trying to do the best with the hand he's been dealt. He thinks his way is best, even if it hinges on a gamble. No ulterior motives except to stop Tom Riddle. Still, even canon Dumbledore wasn't above manipulation and playing chessmaster to get his way.

_**Meanwhile, at Malfoy Manor…** _

Tom Riddle, or as he liked to refer to himself: Lord Voldemort, screamed out in pure rage. The Malfoy brat somehow managed to not only screw up his job so utterly completely that it killed two of his followers, a beast in his employ, and one of his suppliers, along with destroying all those wonderful dark artifacts the shopkeeper had; but he outed himself by dropping the Imperius curse on the Rosmerta woman.

One of his Death Eaters within the aurors had caught wind of both the destruction of Borgin and Burkes, along with Rosmerta's report that she'd been under the Imperius. The news was rewarded with the Cruciatus, of course, but only for a second. His anger was reserved for all the Malfoys. Draco for his utter and complete fuck up, Lucius for losing his diary and getting captured later, and Narcissa for procreating with an idiot to make an even bigger idiot.

He _glared_ down at the moaning and sobbing body of the Malfoy matriarch. He'd originally assigned the job on the off-chance that it would succeed, but he'd mainly done it to punish the brat for his father's failure. But now…

" _Crucio!_ " Voldemort screamed out, putting Narcissa under the torture curse once again. His wonderful, loyal Bellatrix watched emotionlessly as well she should in his eyes. After holding the curse for ten agonizing seconds, he lifted it.

"This is the price you pay for failure, my Death Eaters," he hissed out to the room full of robed men and women, almost slipping into Parseltongue. "This is the price you pay for your children's failures. This is the price Britain pays for its failures. And now you will all show Mrs. Malfoy my displeasure as well. Do what you wish, but do not kill her yet. Come, Severus."

He swept from the room with one of his most loyal followers right behind him into Malfoy's drawing room. With a casual wave of his wand, the doors were sealed and silenced to prevent sound from entering or escaping. He sat in the ornate desk chair, relaxing into the luxurious cushions quickly. His glowing red eyes stared at Severus while he stayed silent, just to disquiet him even if the man didn't show it.

After several uncomfortable seconds of silence, Voldemort sighed dramatically, "Where did we go wrong, Severus?"

"My lord?" the potions master asked politely, the only reason he could possibly have for the Dark Lord without suffering under the Cruciatus.

"The Malfoy brat, Severus. His failure would be but a minor setback, but the loss of Greyback's leadership means that the beasts' loyalties will be fractured. Tell me, Severus. Where did we go wrong with the boy?" he asked.

"My lord, I believe the blame lies solely with his parents. I attempted to teach him cunning and guile, but his heritage was one of madness and stupidity," ventured Severus, knowing that putting the blame on the marked-for-death Malfoys would go over well with the Dark Lord. Under his occlumency, he was cursing up a storm. It was far too soon to let Albus die; he had some sort of plan for the mostly useless Potter brat, but if it were cut short…

And then there was his Unbreakable Vow to consider. Draco must not be dead or else he would be. The Dark Lord had called him away from the school this weekend for highly illegal potions brewing, but the Vow would've taken that as abandoning Draco to harm if he were dead. As it were, his skin was still prickling unpleasantly, telling him that the Vow was displeased and that Draco was in danger that he could not prevent.

Voldemort thoughtfully tapped his chin with one of his long fingers, "Of course, Severus. You are quite right. The Blacks are madness incarnate and the Malfoys…Well, the less said, the better. Tell me, Severus. How soon did you say the injury that Dumbledore had suffered would end the old man's life without interference?"

"Easily within a year, my lord," he replied, hopeful that the Dark Lord was content to let the curse run its course. At the very least, it would give Albus a lot more time to pass on whatever knowledge he intended to Potter, though his hopes that the arrogant brat could use the knowledge were lower than low.

"Hmm…No, that's not soon enough. The longer the old man is alive, the longer he has to plan out contingencies. Find your opportunity, Severus. Do not disappoint me," Voldemort said with such utter finality.

' _Shit. Shit shit shit. Maybe I can buy some time?_ ' Severus thought desperately. He swallowed as inaudibly and surreptitiously as possible before speaking as boldly as he could, "My lord, forgive my impertinence. Your Death Eaters' operations have the headmaster out of the castle frequently. Opportunities will be few and far between, my lord."

Luckily for the spy, this provoked a thoughtful expression on that cold, snake-like face instead of cold fury.

"I must admit that you are quite right, Severus. Very well, once the Yule holidays begin, I will begin scaling down my operations. I expect to hear of Albus Dumbledore's death shortly after the Yule holidays have ended," Voldemort relented ever so slightly. A cruel smile curled his lipless mouth. "Perhaps if the opportunity arises, you could find a way to pin the blame on the Potter brat. Stealing his wand to do the deed wouldn't go amiss. Once it's in possession of the aurors, I can easily obtain it."

That was the best the potions master could hope for, so he bowed deeply, "Your will is mine, my lord. My hand, yours."

"You are dismissed, Severus," the Dark Lord said carelessly, a wave of his wand unsealing the room and allowing the sounds of Narcissa's continued torture streaming into the room. To remind him of how failure was treated.

Dramatically, with his cloak billowing behind him in his practiced way, Severus swept from the room, his mind calculating the best course of action. A cruel smile graced his lips, however, at the thought of pinning Albus's murder on the arrogant Potter brat. Some time on the run would do the blowhard good. Perhaps the brat would have to eat rats like his worthless godfather had. The thought put a pleased skip in his step.

Inwardly, as much as he dared with his Vow, he cursed Draco's name for putting him in this position. How could that idiot have messed up so spectacularly that his failure had essentially _nuked_ Borgin and Burkes?!

Once outside of Malfoy Manor, he turned on his heel to apparate from one safe house to another before apparating to Grimmauld Place. Once the Potter brat had made sure the building was his, Albus had had the good sense not to tell the brat that the cursed headmaster would be using it as a rest stop after his sabbaticals.

Without ceremony, Severus entered the rundown building, sneering at the moldy decor. Black didn't even have the decency to clean the place up before dying. A single knock on the door leading to one of the guest rooms was the only warning the old man was given before he barged in. He winced at how weak the headmaster looked, but told him anyway, "I have news and you will not like it."

He waited for his soon-to-be-audience to put down the letter that he'd been reading when he walked in. A glimpse of the signature told him that Minerva was writing. Hopefully, the daft Scot had seen fit to use a Hogwarts house elf to deliver the missive.

Albus sat through his spy's delivery quietly, making and discarding plans the entire time. He didn't like how positively _gleeful_ Severus had sounded at framing Harry for his death.

"Severus, I know that you and Harry have had your differences," he started, waiting for the man's vitriol to abate, "but I cannot allow you to carry out framing him for my murder. He is _essential_ in stopping Voldemort," this time, he waited for the man to stop flinching at the name, "and he cannot stop the man from Azkaban!"

The headmaster frowned at the look on his spy's face, like Christmas and his birthday had been cancelled by the one who had kicked his puppy. He'd done all he could to remind Severus that Harry was not his father, but he just refused to see otherwise.

"The Dark Lord all but _ordered_ me to frame him, Albus! How am I supposed to keep my cover if I cannot?" the potions master practically begged. Either for his life or for the chance to sweep the boy's feet from underneath him, none could tell.

"Severus, I must insist. Now that young Draco has failed in his mission, our window of opportunity starts to close," Albus said, disappointed. He'd hoped to have the misguided boy see the light, perhaps to talk him over to the side of the Order. "I'm afraid we may have to tempt Voldemort into a confrontation earlier than planned. I can only hope that Harry is up to it."

"But Albus!" Severus began to protest.

"No buts, Severus. This is _essential_ for the survival of Britain's magical and mundane populations! I will attempt to convince Harry to stay at Hogwarts over the holidays. I am confident he will stay if worded correctly, but I will, of course, tell you when he does accede to the request," he explained, stroking his beard in thought. Their relationship was beginning to recover and the promise of magical lessons in addition to learning of Tom's life would entice him, surely.

"Then and only then, it will be safe to give you important information that I'm certain will entice Voldemort to attack Hogwarts as he has avoided doing thus far. I will be there and I will attempt to make certain that Voldemort is driven away, but you will have a brief opportunity afterward to strike me down and flee," Albus continued. It would be painful for Harry to see and quite possibly, he would rage at the heavens and attack Severus, but he was certain his spy could handle himself.

"And just _what_ information is it that will make the Dark Lord, who is known to fear you even in your weakened state, attack your very sanctuary?" the potions master demanded.

"In due time, Severus, in due time. The only information I can give you currently is what you'd find out anyway upon your return to Hogwarts: Harry has made a startling discovery of a new magical being, the likes of which modern wizards have not seen. Perhaps because they'd been in an enchanted sleep from possibly even before the times of the Founders," the aged headmaster explained.

It was truly astonishing that the portrait of Merlin had found a way to circumvent his will as headmaster to lead Harry to the very last Cursed Vault. And the Founders' portraits inside! Such a tremendous discovery at such a young age.

It was truly a shame that such a bright boy was surely doomed by the horcrux he believed to be in his scar. A slim hope was there, but it was a one in a billion chance, all riding on his mother's sacrifice and the boy's desire to keep others safe.

However, Severus didn't see it that way when he scoffed, "Please, Potter discovering anything at all? Surely, it was the Granger swot and he's just taking credit for it, as always. And what does it matter if he has found a new magical being?"

Albus sighed deeply at the vitriol. He'd never be able to convince the man to just let go of his grudge, but he could keep trying, "Severus, please. All we know of them so far is that they are both female, of varying degrees of metamorphic ability between the two of them. and that both speak Japanese. Albeit, one can speak Parseltongue, which is why I'm certain they will be sticking closely to Harry until Filius can obtain an interpreter."

The potions master's eyebrows flew up into his greasy hairline at the last proclamation, "Surely, the Dark Lord wouldn't attack just to get his hands on such a creature? He'd probably want to kill it rather than do anything else. If it can breed with humans as most magical beings can, then he wouldn't want his vaunted ancestor's ability to spread, especially not to half-breeds."

"That is not the information I'm currently sitting on, Severus. Again, I'll inform you of Harry's decision. Perhaps, even if he decides to leave Hogwarts to be with the Weasleys, an attack could be arranged. I'll have to visit and have Molly clear out the house after Yule and before term starts again, but it could work," Albus speculated. "Hmm, yes, no matter what Harry chooses, a confrontation could be had wherein you take the blame for my death."

Severus growled under his breath at the idea, but had no choice to accept. His Unbreakable Vow to Narcissa and his desire to survive this whole situation said so. Potter had better not screw this up.

"Thank you for your information, Severus. I've plans to reconsider, so please leave me to rest. Please refrain from antagonizing Harry's new companions as we do not know all of their capabilities yet. We cannot risk a confrontation with unknown entities at this point," the headmaster said tiredly while he leaned back in his bed.

' _Bah, like Potter would find anything dangerous that didn't try to kill him first. I'll goad and press the hothead's buttons in front of the slags. And if they try to attack me, I'll kill them and have the arrogant sod who "discovered" them expelled by the board of governors even if the ministry is kissing the hem of his robes. Potter doesn't deserve to have any accolades to inflate his already overly large head,_ ' the potions master thought with an internal sneer. He nodded and left the room at a brisk pace, already planning his course of action.

He'd wait for an opportune moment to actually instigate a fight with the creatures, but Potter was fair game in the meantime. A moment where the arrogant brat slipped up and garnered a detention would do nicely. One late during the coming weeks before a weekend meeting with the Dark Lord so he wouldn't have to listen to one of Albus's "I'm so disappointed in you, do better next time" speech until he got back.

* * *

_**Back at Hogwarts…** _

"…And that's my plan, Hermione. What do you think?" Harry asked hopefully. It was fortunate they'd been taught the water-making charm by Professor Flitwick last month, or else Hermione would've had to sit out her fainting spell caused by Buu.

"Buu's baby sister says that Harry's plan has a good chance of working!" the short menace piped up happily after conversing with Diamond. "If evil snake-man and his baddies aren't super strong, then the dragon can do what Harry wants it to!"

Hermione was combing through the plan in her head, looking for flaws. When Buu had explained that the wishes that the dragon granted couldn't backfire like those of wish-granters of lore, it had eased her conscience immensely. No cost except for the dragon's power which recharged after a year if all the wishes were used and Harry could even bring Sirius back to life! Maybe even his parents in a year's time…

"I think…I think I'm with you, Harry. It's cruel, but if Magical Britain wants to rebuild and remake itself, then not only should V-Voldemort be taken care of, so should his Death Eaters. We've seen what happened between the end of the first war and now. Professor Dumbledore's methods didn't work, so let's try yours," she finally said. "But how long would it take to gather the balls?"

The two sisters turned to converse with Diamond requesting what was apparently called simply the "Dragon Radar" from Harry's pocket. After consulting it, Buu said, "A couple hours, less than a day at most. Buu and baby sister both really fast! And some of the balls are in the same place, too! With Instant Transmission, it'll be especially easy!"

Hermione still looked excited at the idea of learning a new ability, even if it wasn't considered magic, "And you can teach us how to do that, right?"

The tanned woman giggled at the question and nodded happily, "Yep, yep! It's easy, at least for Buu! Baby sister's version needs you to know how to use ki, life energy. Buu's way easier to go to people if you can use and sense ki, but Buu knows how to do it without using any energy at all! Watch! **Kai Kai!** "

After the end of her call, she disappeared from the room as if she never existed in that space to begin with. Instantly, she reappeared in a far corner of the room like she'd always been there. Hermione whispered to herself that it couldn't be that easy. Buu disappeared once again and reappeared where she'd been standing before.

"When Harry and Hermione get better at it, they won't need to say the words anymore except in their heads! Just focus on where to go, push your core through space, and say the words," Buu explained beatifically.

' _I think she's missing some steps, but I might as well try. Hopefully, you can't splinch doing this like with apparition,_ ' Harry thought. Hermione still looked doubtful at the explanation. His eyes found the spot next to Diamond; he concentrated on it as hard as he could while imagining pushing himself to that spot before whispering out (and feeling extremely silly while doing so), "Kai Kai."

Instead of the feeling of being pushed through a rubber tube, it was like riding a high-speed treadmill through a welcoming, wide-open doorway when he suddenly appeared right next to her; he didn't even _feel_ Hogwarts's vaunted anti-apparition wards. His best friend looked positively flummoxed at the sudden transportation. The tall woman simply laughed proudly and pulled him into a warm hug at his success.

Unbidden, in his mind, he recalled a similar feeling of transportation, but instantly dismissed it as happenstance. There was no way he'd done this before! He'd definitely remember it if he had. He brought himself back to the present where he was being hugged by a beautiful woman.

§That was surprisingly easy,§ Harry hissed to her. She smiled at him patiently.

§Actually, it's a lot more difficult than I imagine Buu described it, but because you believed it was easy, you could do it. And now that you've done it once, it'll be just as easy to do it more. Does that make sense?§ Diamond half-giggled, half-hissed to him, affectionately mussing his messy hair about.

§A little, I think,§ he replied, smiling when he saw Hermione having trouble with it. Her picking up silent casting so quickly had made him a little jealous, so learning a new ability faster than her felt a little like payback. §I suspect it's harder to do if you don't think you can do it?§

§Exactly!§ she hissed.

"Harry! Get over here and tell me how you did that or I'll hex your bollocks off!" Hermione angrily demanded, stamping her foot. She yelped when her robe's collar was grabbed and her face was pulled down to be level with a scowling Buu.

"Buu like it if Hermione don't do that. Buu and baby sister haven't used or tasted those yet," she growled out warningly. Both Gryffindors' faces lit up with deep blushes at the lewd declaration.

' _I'm making a shrine for the bloody Merlin portrait. Wherever he wants, I'll make it happen,_ ' Harry thought, Diamond staring at him curiously with her eyes flicking between the three of them.

§What did Buu say this time?§ she asked with a small amount of exasperation. He suddenly became painfully aware that she was still hugging him. If he looked down, he'd get an eyeful of her soft, supple breasts straining against her dress while still pressing against him.

Harry chose his words very carefully, §Hermione is competitive. She hisses at nothing when others do better than her without telling her how to do better as well. So, she hissed at nothing with my ability to…become a progenitor and Buu took the hissing to be serious.§

§Hisses at nothi—Oh! I unders—Oh, OH!§ Diamond hissed, realization crossing her face and a blush lighting up her cheeks as well. He swore he even saw her eyes flick down speculatively.

A bright white mote of light phased through the door and up to him before coalescing into a pygmy marmoset that spoke in Professor Flitwick's excited voice, "Mr. Potter! If you, Miss Granger, and your new friends would please come to my office, I have a surprise for you all!"

Hermione and Buu looked up from their hushed argument at the same time Harry and Diamond glanced over at the two of them, as the patronus dissipated. The green-eyed wizard quickly hissed a translation to the taller woman.

He reluctantly disengaged from the hug and cleared his throat, smoothing down his robes as nonchalantly as he could, "Well, come along then."

He led the group out of the classroom after dispelling the wards on the door, fighting to keep a blush off his face. It didn't help that Hermione had started to match his stride and kept shooting him furtive looks.

Finally, she mumbled out, "What are you even thinking about, Harry? Are you sure you're alright with these two and their…intentions?"

The green-eyed wizard blushed once more at her insinuation. His mind refilled with thoughts of the dreams he'd had leading up to meeting the strange women, then how… _forward_ Buu was and how Diamond was more subdued, but still went along with it.

Harry glanced over at his best friend before sighing, "Voldemort, _the Dursleys_ , troll, bucking broomstick, Voldemort again, a certain crazy house elf, the Whomping Willow, the basilisk, dementors, dementors, dementors, the Hungarian Horntail, Hagrid's skrewts, the maze, Pettigrew killing Cedric, Voldemort again, dementors, Umbridge, the centaurs, Grawp, Voldemort yet again, Sirius's death."

Buu looked confused, but Hermione understood perfectly. All those attempts on her best friend's life and everything out to ruin any sort of happiness he had. She sighed, "I'm not sure I approve, but I call dibs on being godmother first. And you're waiting until you've left Hogwarts, do you understand?"

"Glad I can count on you, Hermione," he chuckled, giving her a brief side-hug. He jumped a little when he felt Buu climb up onto his back into the piggyback ride position she seemed to enjoy.

They received a few stares from students milling about on their way to Professor Flitwick's office, but thankfully, their weirdness filters from just being in Hogwarts made most of them move on. The rest were driven off when they asked a question and Harry had to relay it to Diamond through Parseltongue.

"Bloody morons. Remind me to travel to India sometime, Hermione," Harry said when a Hufflepuff third year by the look of him had practically sprinted away at the sound of hissing.

"You have to admit, Harry. It's a little off-putting to hear that sort of sound being made by the human tongue. How does it feel anyway?" Hermione suddenly asked curiously.

"Hmm, it's a little weird. I've used it so much today, but it's not even as tiring as normal speech can get after a while. But if I had any fillings, I feel like they'd be shaken loose by now with how much my tongue vibrates and twists around whenever I speak it," he said, subconsciously feeling around his teeth with his tongue afterward.

"…Your…tongue _vibrates and twists_ when you're speaking Parseltongue?" she asked incredulously.

"Yes? Why?" Harry asked curiously. The look on his best friend's face told him he was being stupid, but he couldn't tell why. Not for the first time, Hermione silently bemoaned the critical lack of sex education in Hogwarts.

"Just…Have Buu or Diamond explain it to you later. I'm sure they'll be glad to teach you what to do with your tongue," she said slyly, earning a big grin from Buu that he didn't see.

"Ooookay?" he replied. He then led them through a secret passage to get to the Charms corridor faster. Once there, they managed to avoid rubbernecking students to knock at Professor Flitwick's office door.

"Come in, come in!" came the excited squeaky voice of their teacher. The door opened on its own, revealing the diminutive man was currently playing host to a light-skinned bespectacled wizard with spiky brown hair.

The other wizard stood up with a beaming smile and bowed deeply with his arms held stiffly at his sides, a faint foreign accent in his speech, "Mr. Potter! What a tremendous honor to finally meet you. What tremendous luck that I missed my portkey this morning. I may have missed my trip home, but I gained a wonderful opportunity when Filius's letter found me in Hogsmeade."

Huh, it looked like his Felix Felicis this morning influenced more than just the events _inside_ the castle too. He realized this must be the interpreter that Professor Flitwick had talked about trying to find.

"Oh, uh, nice to meet you too, Mister…?" Harry said leadingly, completely unsure of what to do. He glanced at Hermione who was mouthing the words "bow back" to him. He mimicked the other wizard's stance and somehow managed to bow with Buu on his back without tipping over, quickly straightening back up when he almost did. Hermione had to stifle her giggles at his literal interpretation of her suggestion.

The wizard straightened up once more and pulled a business card from his robe pocket in one smooth motion, pushing it into his hand, "Suzuki Yoshihiro, or rather Yoshihiro Suzuki to Europeans, Chaser for the Swooping Sakuras of Japan and part-time Japanese to English interpreter for magicals and mundanes. I understand you have two Japanese magical beings with you?"

He looked excitedly around as if looking for them, not realizing they were actually there. Then again, they were pink when Professor Flitwich saw them, so he would've described them as they were, not as they are now.

§You and Buu need to change back. He's confused and thinks you're just normal two-legs,§ Harry hissed out to Diamond. She nodded and the air rippled around her briefly until she resumed her pink, tailed form in the clothes he'd met her in. Buu had been watching and changed back as well.

Professor Flitwick clapped enthusiastically at the spectacle while Yoshihiro gaped at the change (either that or the usage of Parseltongue), "Marvelous, simply marvelous! I wish I'd known they had metamorphic abilities earlier!"

"Diamond admitted to me that she'd forgotten she could until she saw Tonks do it, professor," the green-eyed wizard said with a smile.

Yoshihiro shook his head to clear it and beamed once more, "If you don't mind, Mr. Potter, may I converse with the two of them for a moment? It would be prudent to make sure they don't see me as a threat if I brandish a wand."

"Yeah, that makes sense. Then you'll put a translation charm on them and us, sir?" Harry asked curiously.

At the other wizard's nod, Hermione, ever the scholar, asked, "Do you really need to apply the charm to both sides, Mr. Suzuki? Is it easy to dispel? We'd hate to have to bother you to apply it again."

"Very good questions, Miss Granger, but the translation spells will reinforce one another and make it so you learn each others' languages faster. If you four engage in frequent conversation, it'll take you all less than a week to learn. Filius will take longer because of his limited contact. And the charm requires a specific counter-spell to dispel, so it is not easily shed. Now, if I may…?" the man trailed off, gesturing vaguely.

Yoshihiro, after making sure there were no objections, engaged the two once-again-pink women in a conversation in Japanese. Buu replied enthusiastically as always while Diamond was still subdued and collected with her answers.

Apparently not wanting to keep them in the dark for too long, the conversation wasn't a long one. The Japanese wizard then said in English, withdrawing his pale-pink wand, "You may feel a chill, but that's normal. As a small warning, if you concentrate on speaking only to your companions, Mr. Potter, it will only be heard as Japanese to others. A small downside, but manageable. _Verto vorto transferendum._ "

With the incantation, he waved his wand over the three English-speakers in turn. He then repeated the gesture and the incantation to the pink women.

Harry shivered when he felt a cold wave wash over his ears and tongue and he noticed his companions having a similar response. He looked over at Diamond expectantly after she was done shivering, "So, can you understand me now, Diamond?"

She nodded with a pleased smile, her voice light and airy without the hissing accompanying it, "Mm-hmm, it's good this happened sooner rather than later because it was a little tiring trying to convey the right concepts by hissing them out."

The tall, pink woman turned to the Japanese wizard and gave a brief bow, "Thank you very much for your spell, Mr. Suzuki."

Yoshihiro laughed and bowed back, "You're very welcome, Miss Mabushii. It may have been my job, but it was also my pleasure to do so."

"How much do I owe you, Mr. Suzuki?" Harry asked.

"Oh no, nothing at all, Mr. Potter," the older wizard replied before suddenly smiling and taking on a jesting tone. "However, if what I've heard of your flying ability on the Quidditch pitch is true, some consideration toward defecting from Britain and trying out for the Swooping Sakuras wouldn't go amiss!"

He was about to reply when he _felt_ the low, rumbling, hungry growl everyone else heard against his upper back.

"Buu hungry!" Buu said suddenly and impatiently.

' _What is it about Professor Flitwick's office that makes her hungry?!_ ' the green-eyed wizard thought.

Professor Flitwick chuckled jovially, "Ahh, the sound of a hungry tummy. A universal language we can all understand. Shall we away to lunch then? But I feel we must address this first. Yoshihiro, did you perhaps miscast the spell on Miss Buu there?"

"Hmm? Oh no, she spoke like that in Japanese as well. Miss Mabushii said that that was just her way of speaking," Yoshihiro waved off the question. What he didn't know was that his spell had fizzled almost immediately after casting, due to Buu already knowing English. "It was good seeing you again, Filius. My lunch and another portkey await me at the Three Broomsticks."

"Of course, Yoshihiro. Good day and thank you once again for coming on such short notice," the professor said happily, hopping down from his cushy office chair. The Japanese wizard gave them all a bow before striding to the floo. "Come along, all of you. I have so many questions to ask along the way!"

The two women took this as their cue to transform back into their more human-like appearances.

The professor wasn't kidding about having questions. Diamond fielded most of them; most of which were about her and Buu's species. Which as it turned out was called "Majin", though he noticed the taller woman glance at him surreptitiously. Maybe she wanted to tell him more later?

However, Buu distracted him from the rest of the questions by adjusting herself down his back until her chin was resting on his shoulder. He could feel her staring at him curiously, as if studying him. Suddenly, she pressed a finger to the lightning bolt scar on his forehead and whispered, "Buu feel evil coming from here. Blonde idiot know this where evil snake-man attack. What did evil snake-man do?"

Harry shivered when she pressed down ever so slightly on his scar, but whispered back, "The Killing Curse. At least that's all I know of what happened there. Why?"

"Hmm…Buu heal," she said with confidence.

"Wait, wha—" he started to ask before letting out a loud, heavy gasp when her hand began to glow a bright pink, a pressure unlike he'd ever felt before on his scar. It wasn't entirely painful and, in some ways, felt liberating, empowering.

"Fascinating, simply fascinating, Miss Diamond! And you say that this doctor made artificial humans—Mr. Potter?! Miss Buu?!" Professor Flitwick said, suddenly noticing the pink light bathing the area and turning around to see his student's predicament. He could do little more than wonder if he should raise his wand or wait when Buu slowly withdrew her finger from his student's famous scar, a black shard of _something_ following it.

The solid miasma of darkness, once completely free of the young wizard, fell to the floor and rattled ominously. This, the professor knew, needed to be contained. A wave of his wand had whatever it was encased in a conjured, unbreakable glass jar. Meanwhile, the young Gryffindor was taking great gulps of air like he'd just run a full sprint.

The woman on his back simply beamed and said, "Buu help! Buu take evil out of Harry and heal head!"

The Ravenclaw Head of House ran diagnostic charm after diagnostic charm on the shard of darkness before finally squeaking out, "Oh dear! A wraith-induced magic leech! Mr. Potter, when were you ever exposed to a wraith?!"

Hermione stared at the dark shard before gasping with recognition, "Professor! Harry told me that when Voldemort was driving out of Professor Quirrell, he was some kind of dark spirit. Do you think that could've been—"

"My word, Miss Granger! You may just be onto something there! Surely, when He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named tried and failed to kill Mr. Potter as a baby, he turned into a wraith then. And as a wraith, he would need a lot of magic to regain his strength," Professor Flitwick speculated. "Well, I suppose congratulations are in order for spotting this, Miss Buu."

Buu cheered enthusiastically at that. She'd definitely get her handsome man to reward her later, no doubt about it. After she reminded him that her baby sister's reward was cut short, of course. Speaking of, Diamond was shaking her head with a fond, but exasperated smile.

Harry shook his head to help clear the dissipating fog in his mind, straightening up as though a weight were lifted off his shoulders. He tried to blink away the blurriness of his vision, but it seemed to want to linger. It wasn't until he lifted his glasses that his vision cleared.

"Mr. Potter?" "Harry?" the professor and Hermione ventured simultaneously. When he turned his attention to them, Hermione asked first, "Are you alright, Harry?"

He closed his eyes briefly, marvelling at the feeling of his magic suddenly coursing through his body freely. When he reopened them, he smiled and nodded, "Never better, actually. Literally. I feel great. Thanks, Buu."

* * *

_**Meanwhile, at Malfoy Manor…** _

Voldemort smiled cruelly while the sounds of Narcissa's continued torture pervaded the room. Nagini was hissing hungrily at his feet all the while.

§Soon, my dear Nagini, soon. Your meal is being tenderized as we speak,§ he hissed soothingly. The Death Eater he was currently staring at was quaking in his bowed position at the sound of Parseltongue. Some new recruit that needed to learn his place, he mused.

"Now, Dascomb, was it? What can you offer your lo—HRK!" he started before grasping at his chest in pain. One of his magic leeches had stopped siphoning off magic! One of the biggest ones, at that! But which one? Did another of his Death Eaters die, cutting off the leech he'd set up in each Dark Mark? This was getting annoying. These cowards needed to stop dying!

"My Lord? Are you well? Should I retrieve someone?" Dascomb asked hesitantly.

" _Crucio!_ " Voldemort screeched out, putting the man under the curse for his impertinence. Of course he was well! He was immortal! He'd have to take roll like a schoolteacher at this rate! Make sure the children were all in their proper places!

* * *

_**Back at Hogwarts…** _

Their trip to the Great Hall was uninterrupted after Harry pocketed his glasses and whispered a promise to Buu that she'd be rewarded later. Maybe he could also set up a bit of a reward system for getting her to de-House Elf her speech too, as adorable as it was.

However, at the moment, he was simply goggling at the amount of food piled up on hers and Diamonds plates. Somehow, he'd missed it this morning when they'd eaten several plates worth of food each, then again, he had other things on his mind at that point. At least they weren't total pigs about it, though. It felt nice to not have Ron nearby noisily smacking his lips, chewing with his mouth open, and spraying chewed bits of food everywhere.

A quick, surreptitious look told him that Lavender was only barely tolerating it as well.

He'd been so focused on the oodles of food on the plates of his new…girlfriends(?) (Were they? They kissed and Buu even said that she wanted her and her sister to…well…Yes) that he didn't notice the switching spell that had been cast over his food, replacing it with a painstakingly crafted replica of his plate by the perpetrator.

So, when he went to take a bite of the food and his nose caught a whiff of ashwinder eggs, rose petals, and pearl dust for the second time that day, he was furious.

Harry leaned over and whispered to his brown-haired best friend on his other side, "Someone's trying to love potion me again!"

Hermione looked around in alarm, trying to spot any possible suspects, but whoever had done so was obviously confident in their work because nobody seemed to be watching him. Except Ron, but it was a venomous glare and a disgustingly open mouth full of food.

"Well, vanish it and make another plate of food, Harry. I can't see who did it, so you're out of luck there. Vanish your pumpkin juice too, just to be safe," she muttered back.

"What if I ate it anyway to see who I felt attracted to?" he asked. "Then you can save the plate and take me to Madame Pomfrey."

"No good, Harry. People on love potions have been known to get violent when they're kept from their 'lovers' and I don't think I'd stand a chance against you," Hermione said, a little proudly.

"Fine, but at dinner, we need to watch a bit harder," Harry relented, waving his wave over his food and silently vanishing it.

Hermione's eyes went wide and she smiled proudly at her friend, whispering back, "Oh, that's great, Harry! You're picking up silent spellcasting!"

He did a double take, looking from his plate to her and back to his plate. Huh, that magic leech must've been really holding him back. He glanced up at the teacher's table where he noticed Professor Flitwick in a heated conversation with Professor McGonagall, gesturing to the jar holding the leech.

The green-eyed wizard turned back to his friend, smiled, and nodded before refilling his plate. This time with different foods and occasionally turning it to keep the image of it fresh in his mind. If it changed, he'd know this time.

"Hey, Harry, what happened to your glasses?" came a question from across the table. When he looked up, he saw that it was Neville Longbottom asking. Internally, he reeled; he'd completely forgotten about Neville and _his_ parents. He looked over at Buu for a moment. Could she…? Maybe he'd have to take a trip to St. Mungo's after the term ends…Either that or Cedric could probably wait a year longer.

Harry turned back to see Neville looking at him curiously and with a little confusion. A brief check of his food said that it hadn't been disturbed, so he replied, "It's a long story, mate. This morning has just been one long story after another."

The look at Buu hadn't gone unnoticed because his fellow Gryffindor's eyes flicked over to her and back. He shook his head a little disbelievingly, laughing under his breath all the while, "Can't you ever do anything normal, Harry?"

"Oh, you know me, Neville. Always looking for trouble," he replied sarcastically.

As if waiting for the moment, the hated voice of their greasiest teacher cut across the conversation, "It's good to hear you finally admit to it, Potter. Ten points from Gryffindor for failing to go a single day without causing trouble!"

It was strange. Oh, sure, Harry was angry at the unfairness of the punishment and absolutely _hated_ the man for his role in getting Sirius killed. However, it wasn't dominating his thoughts like it would have days ago. He merely spared a disinterested glance over his shoulder at the hook-nosed bastard because he knew it'd get under his skin.

True to form, Snape was furious over the dismissive look that the arrogant little sod had given him, "What, Potter? Is your ego so truly gargantuan that you think you cannot deign to reply when you are spoken to?"

When that failed to garner a response other than Potter finishing his plate of food, his fingers flexed toward his wand, but an indescribable pressure filled the air near him, causing him to pause. He'd forgotten about the brat's pet creatures, even if they were pretending to be human at the moment. The one with the long, messy auburn hair had stopped eating and was watching him very closely, with the iciest blue eyes he'd ever seen in his life.

The hook-nosed professor sneered hatefully at the thing before continuing his previously aborted trip to the head table.

Harry focused his attention on Diamond, his speech coming out as Japanese to those without the translation charm, "Perhaps after you and Buu are finished eating, we could find someplace private and I could fill you in on my plan for the wishes. I might have you two go and get the rest of the balls so we can summon the dragon over the Yule break."

Buu giggled around her mouthful of food, swallowed, and said in Japanese, "And Buu's reward for healing Harry! And baby sister can get the rest of her reward from earlier too!"

He should know better than to drink or eat around Buu, it seemed. The green-eyed wizard nearly choked on his treacle tart at that declaration. Hermione just looked over with a raised eyebrow, but shook her head, standing up, "I'll be in the library, Harry. Be a little more careful with your food and try not to make any more discoveries today. If you do, leave me out of them."

Watching his best friend walk away, Harry snorted. Like he could help it. Trouble found him on a regular basis whether or not he was trying to avoid it. He glanced over at the women who he'd found that very day. A part of him wondered why him, but another, more intimate part was yelling at him to shut up and accept it. The logical part of his brain was even saying that they'd seen his dreams too, somehow, and seemed to accept the situation for what it was.

And any chance to avoid another absolute disaster like trying to court Cho, he was willing to take.

A tug on his arm brought him out of his reverie. Looking at Ron's usual seat brought him face to face with an expectant Buu, her eyes filled with a great number of promises. Some of which may have scared (and excited) him a little bit. However, he wasn't in Gryffindor for nothing.

Harry smiled to himself and stood up to leave, followed quickly by the two women. On the way out of the Great Hall, he was stopped by a scowling Ginny Weasley.

"That was a really mean thing you did to Romilda earlier, Harry!" she angrily exclaimed to his utter astonishment. He looked around with disbelief and saw that some of Romilda's friends looked like they agreed. Only the pure or half-blooded ones, which was telling. They truly saw nothing wrong with love potions. Utter insanity. A sudden thought crossed his mind and he had to try not to grin.

"You _do_ realize that we were there because Malfoy's Imperius broke on Madame Rosmerta, right?" Harry said. At her reluctant nod, he smiled at the fact that she'd taken the bait. "So, who was to say that he didn't Imperius anyone else? What Romilda had given me could've easily been _poison_. We both know that Malfoy would've given his hair products to poison me, right? It was definitely possible he could've had her under the Imperius."

"But it wasn't! It was just a love potion!" she said reluctantly, now unsure.

Behind himself, he could practically feel Buu and Diamond bristling with anger. They must've been distracted in the common room when the subject of love potions had come up. He might've seen Parvati Patil demanding their attention then, but he hadn't really been paying as much attention as he should have been.

"But why take the chance? It's not my fault she decided to take that particular moment, when there was an auror in the room, to try and love potion me. And it's certainly not my fault that those are banned from Hogwarts. She should've thought of that before," Harry said with a tone of being finished with the conversation. He stepped around the angry redhead and quickly left the Great Hall before she could do more than fume.

Diamond matched his stride and muttered to him, "Are love potions what I think they are?"

"Probably worse than what you're thinking. They don't actually produce love. And it utterly baffles me how some of the girls in the school think that it's romantic to dose a guy they like with it. Especially if he doesn't like them in the return the way they do," he growled back with the Marauder's Map already in hand. "And of course she's following us."

The tall woman leaned over to look at the aged piece of parchment, her eyes widening at the moving dots, "Oh, so that's what Buu meant by a moving map. Very interesting. Did you make this?"

"No, my father and his friends did when they were here in Hogwarts. They used it to plan their pranks and sneak…out…" he trailed off before smiling broadly. He ducked into a secret passageway and chuckled to himself when he saw Ginny's dot stroll right past. "That's an idea. I need to get a letter to one of my father's friends and we'll be summoning that dragon a lot sooner than Yule break."

Diamond beamed, "That's good. I've only ever seen it summoned once before after…" Her face fell slightly and she looked nervous. "…I…We need to talk. Can we go into one of those classrooms like before or that other room with the junk? There's something you should know."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (AN:) I admit, this one took a while. I blame my attention span, personally. As a side note, I've yet to see anyone guess Harry's plan for dealing with Voldemort and his Death Eaters. Hint: It's not killing them because the dragon wouldn't do that anyway.
> 
> As for Harry learning Kai Kai instead of the Yardratian Instant Transmission, I'm sort of basing that off of Xenoverse logic. Where anyone can learn anything by doing a mission, having a skill tutor teach them, or just plain old buying it in a shop. And I love achievements in ignorance. It's supposed to be divine and impossible for mortals to learn. So, they learn it anyway.
> 
> And I have to say yet again, Half-Blood Prince had a lot of Idiot Ball holding. I distinctly remember the bathroom scene where Draco tried to use the Cruciatus on Harry only to get the Sectumsempra in retaliation. And Harry was the one in trouble. Sure, it was a dark curse, but the Cruciatus had legislation SPECIFICALLY banning it for use on humans!
> 
> This was before Voldemort took over and made the Unforgivables legal. And when Scrimgeour was desperate to arrest anyone with a HINT of Death Eater activity.
> 
> Which leads me to believe that Harry was an idiot and didn't mention that except to Ron and Hermione. OR Snape, when he spread the story through the school, conveniently left that out due to his Vow.
> 
> Rant over. Next time, we explore why "We need to talk" are the four scariest words in the English language.


End file.
